Snapped

nearly. I nearly came close to snapping and burn everything I see today. Maybe i am in a bad mood, maybe i am tired, I don't know. But I am on the brink of just exploding in a million pieces.

Sigh, God give me strength and patience to deal with these shits.

Away away away

Where dreams was once made of sea water and soft sands.

And yes, My very 1st proper picture of a bird. And it's a Hornbill.
 

It got me thinking

that perhaps,

Life does not called us to finish the race 1st.

Life simply want us to finish the race,

and enjoy every single bit of the journey.

At our own pace.

I should stop worrying then.

Got jolted up by a nightmare, not that scary, just that it felt very real to me. Now have to find a way back to sleep.

It's the Chainese New Year

Happy Eating too.

Just got back my Internet. Past few days been an internet black out. Line is super slow.

Assumption

can be inaccurate sometimes.

Assumed nothing much will be going on this 2 weeks but turns out almost everything happened in this 2 weeks. Regret not bringing camera to INTI. = =

Oh wells.

Finally rained at 3.++ am. After 2 miserable hot days. Scumbag weather rains the night before of my 8am class.

something beyond the rain

Just not sure if the rain will ever stop. But hey, beats not believing it will at all.

Alright, I survived. Now I am back to living life. 1st off, came back Ipoh and immediately started eating again :D .. aww the awesome home cooked food. 

Then got a chance to use my new flash gun. Used it for today's photoshoot for my ex-addmath teacher's wedding. Don't think I am using it to it's full potential yet. Still, much to learn much to understand, much to the taken in. 

 Raja Sehari

1st time being labelled as the official assistant photographer, wing man to the Groom's brother, who is the main photographer. There is even an angpau to boot, and honestly that angpau was very generous, shock the day lights out of me when I opened it. 

Not that I am a super good photographer that is good enough to open a photoshooting studio, but then I am working on improving so to maybe, just maybe use it as a part time job. U know, where I would something of my interest and get paid at the same time. 2 birds with 1 stone. Booyah.

Perhaps. Still, let the future James figure it out.

Christmas soon and this holiday is gonna be like... TONS of photos to filter up. :D

The horror!

Finals again. and then would be a long long break. Or a short break. Whatever.

Say my prayers, cross my fingers, and hold on to my notes for dear life. As usual, I just want to pass. 

Guess I am quite stressed out since quite a few around me is telling me to stop being so stressed. And, I am having insomnia. Literally.

Blank

Cause, I don't think there is anything else I can say.

Still, forget bout the previous post. It's just a sudden mood swing. Lasted few days, but yeah, with exams creeping in, there is no room for it.

Last weekend helped Ah Chai to keep his new widescreen. 2nd hand, but still in good condition. So.. well since it would be a waste just putting it there at the corner of my room, I decided to plug it into my laptop. And after a new place arrangement,  and voilà!!

I dare say I am the ONLY guy at the moment in INTI with this configuration at my desk

My 2nd neighbor suspected that I am a hacker. Lol. I am not = =. 

Blue sky. I am always amazed how perfect the blue is.

I may always seem like a simple minded fool, 

in fact behind it all there is complexity.

I may seem racist and laugh about the jokes it make,

in fact when the veil is off, I have a strong desire to see my country, my home, united as one.

I may seem like a kid,

and perhaps I wanted to remain as one,

Skinned knees hurts less then broken hearts.

But as I look back through those experience I've gained,

I am already nearing an adult stage.

It is not your physical appearance, that makes you an adult.

It's what you've been through and how you think that counts.

Guess I will be one soon, no matter how I hide it.

And I have no plans to hide it anyways. 

Time to take the truth to heart and live on. Live on for the dreams of tomorrow and pray that the road behind will always echo a song of the blessed. 

Work hard and live fully.

Novemeber

The clock strikes twelve and here comes a month to remember. October was fairly a roller coaster ride, infact been one of the toughest month that I have to go through since my Uni life started. All the cramped up assignments course works, and pressure. It just does take a toll on you sometimes.

The one week break was a much needed one. Also, in one week, the high and low changes were fairly spectacular. Gotta admit thou, one of the best days of my life during this year is in one the days. :D 

A new month sets it, with greater expectations, larger dreams and also a vast new opportunities. It starte out with a rain when the clock strikes twelve, yet

 Sun and clear skies will always be there after the rain.

It did not rain

on the  3rd day. How could I forget? turns out my verdict was made long ago.

I was asking myself a question that I've had answered a while back. I knew the answer, just that I am not sure what am I gonna do about it. But, enough ranting of it. I will hold on to it, but I will leave it behind in this blog. :)

Anyways, back from a week of pampering in Ipoh. Gonna head off to UiTM tmr for a frisbee competition. It's just 5 v 5 so it's actually quite a small scale.But I have no idea why all the imba teams in Msia are going. I'm in the team, well since they said this is a good chance for newbie to get experience. For one, I guess we are gonna get trashed pretty hard i suppose. Heck, I didn't even train much this week, was busy eating/sleeping & plainly having fun .. lol.

Anyways, hope for the best la. That's all I can do for now.

Btw bumped on this song, I have to say emo alert. And yeah, BrunoMars version is actually better, but I lazy to go search and link it over. 

Ipoh Mali!!!

Finally.. the air, the water, the food. It is all Ipoh-ly unique. Nowhere does the air smell so free, the water so plainly yet sweet , coffee drug-ly addictive also the food.. It's like Christmas in your mouth when you eat it. ( I know I know .. ALL GRAMMAR ERRORS!!! :P) But yeah, it's been too long away from home.

Nways.. gonna spend sometime chilling in Ipoh. I really need some timeout from life itself. Close those doors and those windows. I want some 'ME' time. 

And I realized one thing. The fact that I could not handle emotion intensive situations is evident enough that I am not ready for a relationship. It just suffocates me. Perhaps it's again, right person wrong timing I suppose. But yeah, I am working on trying to not to be bothered by it. I am honestly putting effort into it.

Life as we might not know it

You know, little things might be little now. But then, a little down the road, it turns out to be something big.

 look up the sky long enough, and you just might see the best sunset over again and again

For the moment, life is pretty awesome as it is. Still, have to shake off this tingling feeling that I have from time to time. Well, life is awesome, but then it's full of stress too. Stress of assignments. Like seriously, 4 Individual assignments in 2 weeks and 1 test. Not much, but definitely not making life any easier. 2 down, 2 more to go. Hwaiting!

As how the movie depicts it, I guess right now is my routine stage and making memories.

 Life is not a race, you are not getting a trophy if you finish 1st.

Miss some of You people so much. People that gave me courage and mental support. People that would listen to me. Although we are still keeping contact via technology, I still miss those moments together.

It sucks

              When you give all you can give, and it is still not enough.

It sucks, when you are doing the best you can, so you will not be a burden to anyone, it backFires.

It sucks, when I ran as fast as I could, it just won't cut it. 

It sucks, when I jump and reach as high as I can possibly reach, the disc just fly past my fingertips.

And I always ask, why?

Why I could not jump higher, or run faster. Or mayb, why do I panic. 

And everytime, every single time, I can give a reason for it. But perhaps, it's time to put those reason, or excuses behind. It's time to accept one cold harsh fact. I am not good enough.

To be honest, I was at my breaking point at the field today... I am so disappointed with my own performance. It's like I am a handicapped person on the field. I have a pair of legs. a pair of arms but why I can't do what others did so well?

But, no. I had given up on many things in life. I might had at a point in life given up one of my life goals. But No. I will not give up on myself. 

They breathe the same air as I do, eat the same food as I do. There is no reason that I can't perform as well or at least close to the others. Time, I need time to be better. Time, it is always time. I will be better in time, I will return better and stronger. I will be back, faster then before. I might suck at this Open, But I'll be back.. And I will be better. 

Apologize to the readers(if any) for the emo-ish and very self beating post. I just had quite a hard time. Sigh, I need a morale boost, or maybe even some motivation.

Seven Days

You can always predict what might happen, or even deduce what would happen.. but chances are your expectations might not coincide with reality. 

So, conclusion? Carpe Diem.

Competition is 7 days away, and without a doubt this week would be on High gear for everyone. If my life is a movie this week would be flashes of trainings and classes with a building up soundtrack as the back drop. Perhaps the song of Down River by The temper trap might be an interesting add. 

Anyways spend less then 24 hours in Ipoh just for the sake of stpm certs and some documents for ptptn. Mom seem particularly unhappy about it ..lol. But oh wells, It's not like I'm not coming back at all. To be honest, I wish time would allow me to stay longer as well. But I cannot stop the momentum now, taking a few days off is very risky at this stage.. best is to keep everything on high gear till the end of the competition.

Most of all, hope everyone will have a good time :)

Perhaps

The day hasn't show all it's cards.

I know most of the time I am not speaking sense. Anyhow, I just wish today would last longer. And hopefully, best is now and better is to come :)

Also did some photoshooting for ICF 1st meeting of the semester! Although alot of spoilt shots *thanks to rusty camera skills* I did manage to capture some nice ones :D

Seed | Regeneration

P/s: Wanted to upload more pics, but slow internet. Bah.

If you were an ice cream flavor

You would be my favorite one :)

Maybe I am judging things too soon.. Or perhaps it is just me wanting to move on from my current situation.

I am conflicted, yet again. At one end, I wanted to get to know you more and perhaps in the near future be something more then friends. On the other end, the fear of rejection grips me. And I know clearly I need to be emotionally stable for at least this coming few months in this place where I am alone.

But yeah, every time I had manage to convince myself that right now I am best being single for now, the Universe just seems to like to screw around with me and give me hope that perhaps there is chances. Anyhow I am gonna just live life as it goes. I will walk my pace and I won't rush things.. I know clearly If I am serious about this I can be as persistent as I ever could be, and waiting is something I am willing to do.

Of course, my goal is still clear. Get good grades, build a good career, and get a stable income. And right now I am just indulging in abit of off track desires :D

Also, today frisbee training was quite intense. Been awhile I felt this tired. However I foresee more similar training like this. Drills drills and more drills. I don't want to be a burden to my team! And I definitely don't want them to not be able to achieve their goals cause 1 person in the team didn't give his 100%.  So far I've made little improvements, but I know it doesn't come close to being enough at all. I am gonna try harder, and harder. And I will expect results.

Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. Shared by PasterChris.

On another note, find it weird that my learning skills teacher today talks about life philosophy instead of teaching 'learning skills' = =. Also she quoted in class, whatever which is yours, will be yours in the end. Weird coincidence given that the same quote was shared by a friend way back in Ipoh.

On that bombshell, It's time to end this long post. I seriously need some good rest.

P/s: Oh and no pics. Didn't take much recently .. hehe

1st Mile

So, officially started my 2nd semester. 1st week was pretty tough, specially the mornings. One of my lecturers actually reminds me of my form 6 days. But the mornings are tough, it is the night that made the days better. 

Joining ultimate frisbee does release some pent up stress. U knw, stress away from home, loneliness, studies, and so on. Getting addicted to running my hearts out at the field.. really a good way to de-stress. *Runs and Screams*

Kays, enough craps. Coming 3 weeks is gonna be crucial. I've joined AIMST open, and I will be in the 2nd team. Gonna push my self further and improve myself more for the game. Been accident prone as well, fell twice in a week and open up bck my old wound. Damn pain.

But then. No pain, No gain. Fall down seven times, get up eight. Keep running! Hwaiting!

Oh and yeah, enjoying air-cond and amazingly fast internet speed at the multipurpose hall. Ahh paradise! :D

Heart pounding

Deep slow breathes. Steady hands. Firm grip on the Disc. Get my head in the game.

Quoted frm 'Six billion freaks in this world Apr 27, 2010'

Back to Ipoh, to my warm family, to my comfy bed. Now gonna continue what I have been doing. Endurance training and Jogging. The trick is to keep my mind fresh and steady even though my heart is pounding at thousands of beats per min.

Competition is one month away, though I'm not sure whether am I qualified into the junior team or if there is a junior team, I am gonna give my best. At least I can see how much I can achieve in one month. No slowing down, no skipping days, no procrastination.

I'm just dreaming out loud.

The photos is taken from one of my previous blogpost. I edited it a lil more. Kinda really like this photo.

It's been awhile since I literally fallen down, and it's been awhile i've taken 'when you fall down, get back up and walk again' literally. My knee does hurt like crap thou D:

Life as we know it

Just a usual night. Frisbee, then vcammed a guy shaving his beard, drank a weirdly addictive tea at an arabian shop house, stayed up almost all night chatting there, went to friends place to watch movies and here I am.

Maybe I forgot to mention bout it, but life is Inti is crazy sometimes & occasionally epic. Raya week break, can't wait to go back home.

Seven days ago

by Mocca.

Well another song bumped on when I was watching Invincible Youth. Aside from that.. few more days to the release of my result. I am hoping for the best, that is to pass my subjects.

I am quite confident for the business class.. but for the HCI(human computer interaction) I have no idea what to expect. Sure my course work marks did pull some weight but I did vry badly for my 10% test. And I still need quite a few marks to hit the 50% mark. I am worried. 

In the mean time, since I am quite free in Ipoh.. I decided to take a stroll at a small park just outside my house. Ofc, I carried along my camera.  Here's afew shots.

Earth laughs in flowers.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"

In need of a better perspective.