Dear God,

"Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit" says the Lord Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

I'm holding on to You, because I'm not even quite sure what I am doing.

Dear man,

The man you are tomorrow has to be better than the man you are today.

It's tiring, but i'm still trying hard to live by it.
It's tiring, but my actions has always to be for the greater good.

Escape

It's like I am attracted to the sea. Every once a while I will need to travel to the beach and just stand and stare at the beyond.

The grains melded with his feet, soft but sturdy, fine and delicate. Saltwater hitting brushing up his toes and feet then recede trying to pull his feet back to the deep blue as they do. As if they are dragging him to the abyss, whispering of the great adventures and hushed secrets. But he stood, still and silent. He stood still and silent for quite sometime starring at an endless horizon. This sight always reminded him of there is more to life, more than just his needs, more to strive for, more and so much more to those trivial things. The saltwater was at it again, much aggressive sometimes as if they are annoyed that he is stoic, yet unpredictably gentle the next moment as if they are showing remorse. He stood, still and silent, but now giving in to the sea, entertaining the thoughts of the adventures to behold and the secrets to be found. Will he get to travel 20,000 leagues? He wondered. Will he embark on a journey to find Nemo again? Oh! Sea turtles! what about them? What about sunken galleys? Will he find one? With a derelict map or the captain's log, where the captain wrote the final entry of him, sinking with the ship, refusing to part with his love. These aren't his thoughts of course, the author decided what he thinks must not be revealed. It is a secret as deep as the ones that are held in the deep blue abyss.

It's dawn, and drizzles of rain now sprays on the sand, saltwater and him equally, as if an artist with a sophisticated foreign-ish name is flinging paints on the canvas. He knows then, its his time to recede. Back to the land, back to his duties, back to his responsibilities. Back to everything people called life. It's not enough, how he wished to have conversations with the deep blue mistress till the shadow of the sundial hits another line. He is slightly afraid. To face his expectations, to face his standards, to face the possibility of availing himself to be hurt. But he has to. It's life.

Penang has been great. Catching with the bunch really means a lot to me. It also gave me time to think things through. Gave me time to piece my thoughts together. These few months has been a surge of of things that i could not absorb. Now the counter is reset. I am ready to go take on life again.

And I realized the reason i like to travel and explore alone cause i will not need to be concern with people's time. I realized, that i enjoy exploring cause i can slowly discover at my pace without the constraint of time. Perhaps, deep down, secretly, I do enjoy traveling and exploring. But yeah, Penang is just a testing ground. Gonna start plotting my next trip. Somewhere albeit in Malaysia, but a little further.

Adventure awaits!

Conversations

with the stars.

No explanation needed.





I suppose subtlety is not my strong suit. Neither is being inconspicuous.
But God, i'll plan, with a submissive attitude. Cause all i truly have, is You.

Been awhile i posted a picture here. So, here goes.

Wake me up again when October starts

There is so much change in life for September. I went on from an intern to accepting a contract staff and before the month ends, i was told there was a full time position opening. 1 day before i start my contract staff position.

insanity. Literal insanity.

I need time to adjust to life's pace. I wish to have 2 weeks where I can go see the stars alone, with my camera. I want time to figure things out. Time alone for a week or two.

I'm still trying. To be a better man. I'm honestly trying really hard. It's tiring. It's draining. But I am still trying.