If only

you know who you are..

Thursday.. was the usual tuition/activity packed dull&frustrating&tiring day.. except I have to endure headache+cold throughout chemistry tuition.. Had to admit life has been dull lately.. real dull ...After exams however, I hope things will change. :DFriday was a holiday.. dint had a good rest though cause cant seem to sleep well the night before. Bah. Anyhow had steamboat at '碳世界'. Ate alot.. ALOT. I practically starved the whole day so I can eat my heart out that night. Well.. I succeed. Or so I think. The food is quite good.. atmosphere is great as well since they jst renovated it.

The chaos

Right after it had another "yumcha" session with afew church friends at Greentown new Kopitiam. That place looks almost like the Gunung Rapat's .. jst way more better. No pictures as we're too busy catching up with each other.

Would stop writing here now. I don't really have the inspiration to blog lately.. blame the dull life or whatever it is.. i just seem to lost the enthusiasm to blog. Well, just temporary of course :)

Gonna rely on candies to keep myself awake.. burning midnight oil

The sum of all fears.. i hate this word.. alot. Reminds me exam is around the corner.

After 2 weeks.. if all goes to plan of course

P/s: I need a plan. A good one.
P/s/s: Gahh.. why must exam be here now =.=

The car can wait

its been awhile i've updated my blog... cause I was somehow lazy to check up on my blog recently.. given the near to dead traffic. Anyways.. as usual alot of things happened.. and I dont know where to start..Well, i guess this should do. =P

In an elegant car, wearing a black expensive suit, he was dressed to his best. He is going to a prom night. Outside the ballroom he stopped his car. But it wasnt him that would be the one dancing. The man sitting behind him would be living his dreams for the night. He got down, walked to the opposite and opened the door with his ever white hand wrapped gloves..The men got downed, and without even a thanks or a simple glance he walked to the ballroom. All he could do, is watch and dream. But, this time around.. he wants an out of the ordinary night. So he stepped towards the ballroom, defying all laws of nature and shattering all of the boundaries.. he moved. The car can wait, The night was his to take, His life is about to change. He pushed the heavy gold plated doors walked in the ballroom with confidence.. without shaking a nerve. There he saw, among all, her..in his eyes he sees a prom queen. Dressed in her white prom dress, with red flower markings.. she danced. She turned down countless.. countless. And he know he is unqualified for a dance with her. Instead of turning back, he boldly move on with his pace. Walking forward without an intention to turn back. His mind told him, its suicide.. yet his heart was louder. He walked, and kept walking.. she was in the middle of the ballroom.. the distance is short.. yet it seems its like a mile long walk. There he stood infront of her, and she paused as well. He knelt, looking into her eyes...squeezing her hands. It was as if time stood still...with it... he said

"I'm not an actor I'm not a star
and I don't even have my own car
But I'm hoping so much you'll stay
that you will love me anyway"

*alarm rings* ..

Well thats about it.. I try recalling as much as I can but somehow this is all I can remember well.. Exams around the corner.. Good luck ppl =)


It was you all this long,
Its always you.

and, to the Cockroach

Yeah. thats you. Happy 19th Birthday. I know you existed in this world when I was form 1 .. and really get to know you when I was form 2, when I was unfortunately got stuck with you in a same patrol for one whole year :P . Also don't think I forget what happened during form4 when you 'mistaken' me as a sandbag and screamed all your problems out in the store room...locked and trapped...well I assume it as a coded message cause all I hear is "arrrr" "grawwwrr" "gaahhhh" "high pitch voices". It was an 'awesome' experience. Lucky, now you learn to say your problems out.. not shouting, HAHA. Also, thanks for all those advices you gave. Those where you are quite experienced in. =P And yes, hope you like whipped cream... cause we figured a cake would be too exp.. HAHA. Enjoy your last year as a 'teen' bro.


Okay, right now? I am still having that holiday mood. SO DEAD. well, at least for one.. tonight manage to motivate myself to start work again.. homework.. and here there are TONS TONS TONS x 3427428748234 of 'em. well, blame myself for over enjoying my holidays... but it was WORTH IT! =P

Ahh spots day then exams.. its the exam season once more. I feel like my school is run by idiots.. like helloooo? Who in the world put sports day just before exams?(apparently the school I'm in) Don't you think we need to study? Whats more.. the others would be busy practicing and competing for this 2 weeks that do you think they would hav sufficient time to study? Dont give me that manage your time well crap, Why dont you more mature people manage the time table better? Oh btw, i just feel unhappy about it.. and nope I'm not participating any sports .. so Im actually not affected =P


Wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room, yeah

That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do,
To get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

P/s: Now.. where was I? Oh yeah.. at the brink.

220210

As a friend said, 2 is better than 1.
As I said, I dont have any idea


So.. while I was counting ang pau money..

Hellooooo? its GXFC! not this =.=

Had to admit .. this year ang pau income is vry vry low.. like im experiencing some recession or something. Too bad I dont have those really loaded relatives that toss their ang pau to you with 50bucks inside.. or write a cheque ..

Tried to sleep early the night before school starts. Tried to do myself a favor cause I barely sleep properly for the entire 1 week holiday.. except for 2 days. Was about to doze off... cozy.. drowzy .. breathing slowly .. i feel a good night dream awaits.. then .. *BOOOM* .. fire crackers mayhem ruined my night.. and I end up dozing off at around 3am. CRAZY PEOPLES! DONT THEY KNOW THEY HAVE NEIGHBOURS??

Today in class .. almost half of my classmates dint attend school .. then the remaining half was zombified and sleeps in class .. I crumbled during chemistry.. chemistry has this mystical sleeping atmosphere that makes me sleep. Then nearly half of my classmates collapse during physics.. a sight to behold. A slow 1st day of school .. where in my mind I was expecting a highly pressurized and stress intense 1st day.. well .. thanks to peer pressure I moved at an insanely slowed pace on the 1st day. That explains why am I sitting in this chair .. writing this POST.

Also watched 72 家租客 today.. when I was suppose to go tuition =.=
Okay nuf said .. Im obviously still in HOLIDAY MOOD.. my
mind is still in hawai or some
distant place



I'm in fear. Fear of failure. Cause I already know failure is a too high price to pay for this case. But as quoted, courage is not the absence of fear, instead its having realized that there is something more important than fear.

P/s: thanks for all the support. But we all know eventually I'm on my own. still many thanks.

36 hours to go

Was actually planning to sleep early yesterday.. really! I swear! but end up having insomnia and came back online and chat. Then tried to sleep again.. but end up watching tv and fb till 3am... = =|| its a miracle if I can sleep early during holidays. So, today morning was so tired that I decided to cancel out everything and spend a little 'ME' time. Ahh bliss!!!

'Me' time during CNY = spitting lead on ppl in pc, channel walking in astro, also.. the best part yet count ang pau money.. ;D

Still, felt an impending doom approaches.. like a time bomb ticking...ticking.. & ticking.. It all feels so calm right now.. the calm before the chaos.. Just like when they are counting down in rugby..

All hell is bout to be unleashed, the calm before the storm

Anyhow, must always keep this attitude on my mind. Never waver from it.

Duty above self agenda


Out in the breeze way
Spring is on its way
I know I am still here
Here, is exactly where?

Off the cliff, or a land faraway
somewhere things goes my way
I crave for one more escape
This time it wont be a mistake

I promise,

A thousand promises I made
Not even hundreds came
I aint someone perfect
But I'm no abject

I'm sorry,

Never was I a human architect
Failing to understand its intellect
For those disappointment
trust me there would be a decrement

I need,

the clock to slow its pace
For there is no more space
faith to believe there is grace
courage to know fear is a waste

Healing takes time
even a heart has its pace
but how long its gonna take
too long would be a mistake

I left,

away from this pity party
I'd rather have some calamari
I wont dwell anymore in this bitter
neither am I going to cry out a river

Never thought,

my memories still wasnt in a pink of health
But its time to clean this filth
Its already overdue
and as always to myself I stay true to

For one, thanks for reminding.

P/s: Its quite random cause Its a kinda 1st hand thought.
P/s/s:homework..Homework..HOMEWORK.. *girlish scream*

Lunar rampage

So.. my CNY. This few days are like hours or minutes to me.. its gone by so quick.. so fast. However the weather is really really hot.. sometimes I thought I was having fever.. but its actually the weather.. and whats worse the ulser in my mouth is getting worse.. throwing me into a constant foul mood. Not to mention an incident occurred that made me firggin pissed off that night. I felt as if I was played or being set up. Only afew get it, and NO.. its NOT what u think it is. Enough with the ranting.. let the pictures talk.

this is ART! :P
Classmates :)
The MAFIA FAMILY

Enjoyed good food as well :)

So its been an awesome week.. well .. half of it. There is still half week to go. And when school starts its gonna be hell on earth again.. great.

Even Aliens needs entertainment.. right?

P/s: Planning on getting a new phone.

hypothèse fausse?

Had to say, Life been both awesome and suckish recently. Got that right.. on one hand been playing and resting my mind like theres no tomoro everyday on the other .. well.. be surprised I am not getting much good food during Cny.. thx to ulsers on my mouth. Blah.

Visitations, outings, gaming.. Poof then its all over and back to school. How I wish, this week never ends.


I have alot more to blog about. But I stopped abruptly just right after I open a fb app and it gave out this quote. And I decided to end with it.

Crazy as it happens... We keep going back to one thing we need to walk away from...

P/s: I figured wrongly, when I figured I learned my lesson.

HCNY+HV = (2H)CNVY ?

tats Happy Happy Chinese New Valentine Year?

Whatever it is .. it started out with countless loud bangs(fireworks)

Had 1st round of the Almighty REUNION DINNER on the 30th of the lunar calender. A normal typical one.

Home cooked food baby :P

Then on the 1st day of the lunar calender(which is today) had something .. well .. thrill seeking?

Its steambot if ur still wandering wat is in this pic

For *whatever's sake.. the weather is damn hot and relatives decided to have steambot!!! Still... had an awesome time with them :) 1st time for everything rite? Haha.

Well, on a pretty good mood now cause I practically slept through the whole day for Valentines day . Which is very energizing and refreshing. Also, time for a full scale AngPau hunt...Roar!!

Red packet craze

On the contrary.. who said the old cant celebrate valentine?

Amour pour toujours

Forever,
Do people even think when they use this word?
afew years is long enough..
And I could not think what forever holds.
All these words bottle up inside..
I wish so much to tell u the truth then lying my way out.
The idea of lying to some1 I cherish most.. is a killer.
yet, spitting all out is putting too much in jeopardy.
You are definitely some1 I want to spend the rest of mylife with.
P/s: Redpackets with puple notes inside FTW.

So she returned...

..my baby after 2days in my office. Miss her so so much:P. Now upgraded to serve me better :D

That explains why I wasnt blogging this couple of days. Reunion dinner yesterday was AWESOME :) . All those relatives, all those foods.. not forsaking .. all those Ang Paus.. HAHAHAHAHA. Finally, i felt relieved.. relieved and breathing. This week is definitely gonna be a light and easy one. I hope.

Well, busy week? @.@

No matter how I am gonna squeeze out a day.. specificly for sleeeping.. I need it.. so so much. Well, just a random update. More will be coming up soon.

and ..And ..AND

I skipped school today.

Reason? well to be honest i WAS lazy :P

Well actually mom approved that I can skip school yesterday night(I dint lie my way out ok? I asked politely..HAHA) but I told her to wake me up anyway today morning cause I havnt really made up my mind. She did, but she failed. When I ask today morning she claimed that when she tickle/push/pull/more pushing/anything necessary to wake me up I just sat up frm bed murmured some gibberish then fall dead back on my bed..weird part is? i DONT RECALL i did any of that. Thus tats how I skipped school... so much for a perfect attendance record =.=

On the other hand.. last night I had an excruciating headache after a should be refreshing power nap. I'm pointing fingers at Coffee Be*cough*'s caramel(ofc its just my opinion) ..I drank down a regular yest figured it would give me a boost for the evening ..instead reached home and took a nap within 30minutes .. then woke up with that headache >.<. expensive coffee kills?

Blah.. no pics.. posting this post with a laptop & wireless.


P/s: so what? I like my new hair. 2words, be different. =p

Jumping off the Cliff..

Or bridge, or plane .. whatever.

infact this is the only thing I crave to do out of pure randomness.. feeling the gush of wind blowing through me & the adrenaline rush frm a few mile high free fall. "Note:James is nt a thrill seeker or maniac of some sort." Just, I always wanted to try out bungee jump.. see how it really feels like & shout it all out while free falling afew seconds. As said.. its jst feeling.. I am no thrill seeker. I bet my legs will shiver if I am to bungee jump right now. HAHA.


Service of my pc postponed to tomoro. Cause today was too busy.

Anyway. Glad tat crisis is over. I don't like the idea of friends fighting with each other jst cause one is trying to help the other.

Also. VRY UNPLEASED that my haircut turned into a shaving session. I only realized the full extent of its seriousness after i put on my glasses.. FML. AND.. TOMORO IS SCHOOL PHOTO TAKING SESSION. FML x2 ..The haircut practically ruined my day.

And. I can't wait to take a break. CNY, as I much as I am not welcoming you this year(for so many reasons) I knw I need you to come sooner and faster!!


Been venturing into unknown waters. Or so I think.. but every thing thats happening seems all too familiar.. like dejavu. Still .. I know what trouble I am getting myself into....

I knw what I'm facing.. Mayb true..

OR maybe NOT... o .o

Nways.. Piles of homework. New year rush.. blah. BEgone.


Closed my misty eyes, I traveled
a forsaken place I stumbled upon, once I hold on so tightly
It's still there, never gone, never moved
It's still here, ever strong, ever captivating

Still, even was utterly mesmerized
I shunned & escaped bck to reality
In fear that my irrational will regain its control

Now, having to contend
with this damn cold night,
My summer has been nothing but winter
without you around.

But now, spring has gracefully returned
I had thus, decided to live a life of my own
A life, solitary, but better then being a facade

I've only just realized
that It can never be erased no matter how I tried
I thought It was erased twice
Yet it rang back thrice

Tried to conclude it with logic
struggled to reason with common sense
A pattern or formula failed to be concluded
Its just like the weather, ever so unpredictable.

For once, let me be honest to myself
& promise myself what I want, not needs
If knowing what you need is the price of forsaking what you want
whats the point of it then? I want to live, not survive.

Dreams.. its time for your return & even for a brief period its more than enough

vive rêves~

P/s:Yeap. I am not dreaming at all while I am sleeping recently.
P/s/s: Also, there is two less loney ppl in this world tonight =). Congrats!
P/s/s/s: AND I GOT A FREN THAT CAN FLY!!! *stares at Enjun Profile Pic* :P