Epic F...

2 words to describe today

EPIC FAIL!!!

Reason?
Came home, got a slight fever.. took a nap at 6pm .. woke up at 12.30am ..1alarm, 6sms, 2miss calls(phone was not in silent mode) failed to wake me up.
Its almost 1am.. I am feeling hyper...shit.

Blah.. homework, proposal, revisions ... damn I don't want to stay up all night ar!!!
On the bright side.. another personal record. Just being sarcastic.. this had nothing to be proud off. Sigh.


Undeniably I was somehow shaken.
A midst of the holocaust it creates a stronger person
The winter's cruel blizzard wasn't easy
Neither is the spring's petals any tender

P/s: 3 words. I need timeout. @.@

Spring will come, after the Winter

Well .. kinda think of it.. it was an awesome weekend I went through. Meet back childhood frens, Had awesome food, had 1st experience driving on the highway, attended a concert by a 2 times Grammy nominations piano artist and so on.

Went to Priscilla's house on Sunday .. was sorta a like a small reunion. Well.. I really liked her house's TV set. DAMN IT IS HUGE!!! OMG!! If it falls over me it could make me splat flat on the groud!!!. Dint take pictures of it though.. dnt think she will let me post up photos of it up on here either..xD
Also .. had my 1st time driving experience on the highway..yeah .. after getting my license for so long.. I finally got the opportunity to drive on the highway. Wined down the window and let the wind brushes me at 110km/h .. ahh blissful indeed!! :D However on the way back home I almost went to the wrong way .. which could really cause me to end up in Penang.. or KL .. O.O. Thx Junie for giving the early warning.. I would really just rush into the toll if I wasnt told that might be the wrong way =.= and eventually get myself into an unwanted misadventure.

Blah, 1st time highway dint drive vry fast la.. jst drive 10km/h over the normals speed.

At night attended Enoch Fernando(I still like to call him Ferdinand!! Hmph!!) concert at YMCA. I got the front row seat. Wait no.. its infront of the the front row seat..HAHA. Reason? Operate the projector for him >.<. I recalled getting from him. his song/video flow for the night only to find out that he scratched almost everything from the original plan while on stage and just became spontaneous. Really kept me on my toes.. I couldnt even let myself slack for a moment =.= My favorite moment that night will definitely be when he solo out one of my favorite music.. "close to you" and the crowd hummed & sing along with the melody...was an awesome atmosphere.

Picture by Daniel, I was too occupied to take any

4th week. I am getting the hang of it.. previous weeks my body was probably unable to synchronize with the new routine. January ends soon.. ushering in the 2nd month. Thus .. the increase of workloads is expected not to mention its gonna be taxing mentally & physically.

Initials at the side of my spec. C=Chang..'surname' :P

You cannot judge a tree, or a person,
by only one season,
and that the essence of who they are
and the pleasure, joy, and love
that come from that life
can only be measured at the end,
when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter,
You will miss the promise of you spring,
the beauty of your summer,
fulfillment of your fall...
*taken from school magazine*

P/s: Is there more to life than just studying & homework for this year?

Far Awayyyyy~

Verse1
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know

Chorus
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never gp
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

Verse2
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know

So far away Been far away for far too long
So far away Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

Bridge
I wanted I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed I need to hear you say
That I love you I have loved you all along
And I forgive you For being away for far too long
So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go

Bumped on this song while I was checking back my old files & been listening to it over & over again.. xD. Will put it up on my blog asap ..since mixpode is experiencing server problems at the moment.

Well.. today was whole day on the go again. Day School, Night Church. Reached home half dead only to remind myself tomoro is gonna be the same shit. Ahh Wth!!! My weekends are even busier than school days! ><"
also
In need of inspiration for various things.
The upside of this week? That it is raining.. making the weather cooling and comfy :)

Pictures followed.
Steambot with family certainly did cheer me up a little.. after a very disturbing week :)

It's in AM again..I should really stop this kinda daredevil act. The side effects is chewing me up alive.

P/s: At this rate .. its just a matter of time before I...

Doubt?

I'm not fond the way things are going to be truthful.
Just when I thought I foresee a smooth ride, things got bumpy & tough.

3rd week into school and I'm doubting if I could handle it. Things werent as easy as I figured. There is just so much to do.. so little time. Homework, revisions, also .. need to spend time to clear my head to plan for kolokium & xinxuan..which thus far.. I FAILED to do so, makes me felt so irresponsible. I'm bad at multitasking. Getting stressed, uneasy, uncomfortable, anxious. Added up.. Muet is just months away.. I havent even made any real effort to improve my English & I recalled vividly I told myself to aim for Band6 last year.. with unshaken confidence yet, now beset with doubt. That explains my recent bad/aggressive attitude. I need to find an activity or something to blow off some steam.

It's so much like trying to keep a sinking ship afloat.. trying to hold my world together from falling apart. Where was the dedicated value I picked up last time? Time to instill it into me once more.

Still, had to say.. its those little laughing & retard moments that are keeping me sane. That is why I hate being alone during this period of time.

P/s: this is jst the small fraction of the ppl responsible for keeping me sane :)

If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain
D. Parton (photo by : Enjun)

*add-on at 11pm 21-1-10*
Also .. the recent news of the Penang Dragon boat capsized. One of them is a scout.. not just any scout... He is the troop leader of ChungLing scout. Its sad to see a fine person perish due to avoidable accidents..his family&friends must be devastated by this. My utmost condolence to them.

also

Mentos, ur friendly mental energizer in a package!!
Get a pack now for only Rm2 and ur mental awareness will guaranteed!!
Beware! over consumption might lead to problems like diet bates & also.. *u guess*

popping Mentos like crazy jst to keep myself awake. Blah.

P/s:The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong-Mahatma Gandhi.

A trip to the principle Office.

Current status : K.I.A(killed in action)

Reason of death:*kindly refer to the picture below*

The real culprit are the TEACHERS!!!

Anyways. Did an experiment to see if Coke can keep me awake. Well .. it does keep me fresh.. but at a cost. I have to bear with stomach ache the following day.. thx to late night coke =.=||. Well don't even knw whether tatsthe reason anot. Still having minor stomach ache.. wth. Anyhow.. still prefer coffee instead.

Behold!!!

Also today, was sent to the Headmaster's office. Reason? Skipped extra class during the Hols. Yes, I did it intentionally.. cmon its holidays!! And I refuse to attend those class >.<. Well, Of course I'm scared. My hands were practically ice-cold during the entire physics period. My hands does get ice-cold when I'm scared. tick tock tick tock.. 10am. So I begun my journey to the principles office along side 4 friends. My heart werent pounding.. neither am I shivering ... I was vry calm infact.. jst that my hands are really really cold. I even tried rubbing it for heat =.= Anyhow.. my thoughts werent helping me either by creating all sorts of worst case scenario. I imagined horrible HORRIBLE stuffs that could happen!! Reached principles office and I was ecstatic to find that there are dozen more students there. Well.. at least I and the other 3 werent the only ones. Was quite surprised actually that headmaster handled it pretty maturely. In my mind.. I pictured him yelling and throwing stuffs or asking discipline teacher to whack the living soul out of us. Anyhow.. all he did was gave us some advice...well actually its more to a lecture. A long one. >.<

Also.. made me skip recess!! .. grhhh

P/s: I foresee homework phobia syndrome.

Magic Thread

Peter, a boy who is strong and able, yet flawed by an attitude of impatience. Always dissatisfied with his present condition, Peter spends his life daydreaming about the future.

One day while wandering in the forest, Peter meets a strange old woman who gives him a most tantalizing opportunity - the chance to skip the dull, mundane moments of life. She hands Peter a silver ball from which a tiny gold thread protrudes. "This is your life thread," she explains. "Do not touch it and time will pass normally. But if you wish time to pass more quickly, you have to only to pull the thread a little way and an hour will pass like a second. But I warn you, once the thread has been pulled out, it cannot be pushed back in again."

This magical thread seems the answer to all of Peter's problems. It is just what he has always wanted. He takes the ball and runs home.

The following day in school, Peter has his first opportunity to put the silver ball to use. The lesson was dragging, and the teacher scolds Peter for not concentrating. Peter fingers the silver ball and gives the thread a slight tug. Suddenly the teacher dismisses the class , and Peter is free to leave school. He is overjoyed! How easy his life will now be. From this moment, Peter begins to pull the thread a little every day.

But soon Peter begins to use the magic thread to rush through large portions of life. Why waste time pulling the thread just a little every day when he can pull it hard and complete school altogether? He does so and finds himself out of school and apprenticed in a trade. Peter uses the same technique to rush through his engagement to his sweetheart. He cannot bear to wait months to marry her , so he uses the silver thread to hasten the arrival of his wedding day.

Peter continues this pattern throughout his life. When hard , trying times come, he escapes them with his magic thread. When the baby cries at night, when he faces financial struggles, when he wishes his own children to be launched in careers of their own, Peter pulls the magic thread and bypasses the discomfort of the moment.

But sadly, when he comes to the end of his life, Peter realizes the emptiness of such an existence. By allowing impatience and discontentment to rule him, Peter has robbed himself of life's richest moments and memories. With only the grave to look forward to, he deeply regrets ever having to use the magic thread.

Don't rush through life, instead enjoy every single drop of it.

Chinese New year is around the corner & this year is a special one. Most ppl will knw why. Can't wait to meet up with my relatives .. dint get to meet them last year... also Dad is making CNY cookies..woo-hoo!!! On the other hand.. gonna get mocked by this phrase for sure.."eat & grow fat" .. blah dnt giv a damn! CNY!! I gonna eat my heart out!! =P

Mandarin Oranges

P/s: Just realized my parents age is exactly the same with my scout troop.. Weird coincidence.. really weird.

Hazelnut coffee

of all of its greatness, it empowers
of all of its price, it consumes
it makes the world go round
yet it makes the world seemingly square
turning common sense to gibberish
making day dreams feel so real
makin it feel warm, yet cold at times
I vowed to let it be, let it free
Never to pursue any of it this year
And I will keep my words.

Today morning woke up late. I was suppose to be at school at 9.30am .. yet I woke up at 10am.. in a state of shock I jumped of the bed.. informed frens that I'm late.. washed up. 10.08am .. I was about to leave home..when I realize.. my electric gate is nt opening. Then I realized.. I finally realized.. THERE IS NO ELECTRICITY!!! HOLY CRAP!!! Quickly called and asked my father where is the unlock key for the auto gate so I can manually open it. Sadly, he can't remember where is the key & told me to wait for his return. Wasting no time, borrowed some manual unlock keys frm my neighbour hoping that I can unlock it by pure dumb luck.. well all to no avail. 10.20am Dad reached home.. saw him speeding his Unser back home. Thx Dad :) . Found the key within minutes & opened it & I dash off to school at 10.25am den reached at around 10.45am.*if traffic is better I can do it by 10.40am :P* . So the 1st 45minutes of my day was intense. Then met up wif frens & helped them out with a project. I dubbed it *see picture*

its suppose to be classified. Oh well :P

Then later went to see the interview for the next batch of Scout committee. Somehow dint turned out as I expected. Most of them are like afraid or just have their minds blank. Well.. mostly I guess they are scared. 39th ppl will und why.. :P

interrogation or interview?
well, lets call it a hostile interview session.*jking*

Later had dinner with Dad to celebrate his bday..Funny thing is.. both me & mom also remembered the wrong day..& my dad too! LOL!!!.. its suppose to be tomoro..well.. 2 rounds I guess xD. Also went Greentown kopitiam and met up with some ex-classmates. L6F4 dudes :) . chit chatted & blowed water.

Hazelnut coffee..blah

Also, Enjun thank you so much for listening even ur miles & miles away & its cold late at night over there*dnt deny it, i heard ur shivering tone!*. This 2 weeks has been so stressed up that I just need someone to listen..thx again! ;) (U still hold the most secret..good thing ur in America =P)

粗心的我
把不应该讲的放声大讲
讲话前,不会先好好想
简单的我
不知一些事情是多么不应该从提
当朋友生气了就慌张,不知所措
迟钝的我
就连弄到人多么的生气
都不会好好的当场立即道歉
愚蠢的我
不了解如何好好的道歉
就连话都会说错,不会好好的说
经验少的我
很少向朋友任正道歉
每次都认为自己每错
样衰的我
知道朋友不离不睬时
很难受
后悔的我
就在此说声
对不起. 我的确大错的错.

别气了.. 对身体好不健康.
别气了..知错了, 我不会再这么没脑了.

I felt so damn guilty for being so careless with speech = =" & i clearly knw its not the 1st time.

P/s:Blah.. back to my books. My weekends arent really weekends.. just more time to lock myself up in my room.
P/s/s: Physics..*scream* Physics chapter 15 *screamx2*

Insomniac

Been doing anything but living a healthy lifestyle recently = =. God knows whats wrong with me. Sleeping at 2-3am for 4days & waking up at 5.50am for 3 days >.<. Been busy with homework, studies & tuition.Yeah. I am attending tuition this year instead of slacking at home :D. Been drinking lotsa coffee. Been eating irregularly again. Been eating lotsa sweets also..to stay awake in class.

After last Saturday's Orientation for form1, 1 thing can be concluded. All form1 ppl this year loves to FIGHT. Everyone ..EVERYONE!!! went to sign up for Taekwando club & also Kadet(cause their presentation involved a section of self defense). Then today, witnessed mayhem at my school hall. Mayhem caused by form 1 pupils.. HAHA. It was total chaos. A friendly warning that Form1 are actually deadly and dangerous also in large numbers.

Went home today after yet again another long long day in school. Then decided to take a 30minutes nap & go PA tuition later for the vry 1st time with Melvin&WaiLoon. But everything gone wrong cause the 30min nap has turned into 3 hours =__________=. Heck, 2 alarm clock failed to wake me up. >.<

Random pics followed. Enjoy~

Proof that sweet doesnt necessary keep u awake in class :P

Felt so drained out by this routine

A smile is all you need to turn ur day around sometimes :)

Blah.. again!! why dint I listen to TerWei saying I parked at the wrong place!! ToT

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

P/s:In need of stress management!! BADLY!!

Sinfully taxing

nausea, headache, delirious .. bah screw this physical/mental taxing life.

After my 1st week of school *check pulse*.. oh good, i'm still alive.
My 1st week at school end up quite well actually. Wel, "quite well" if forgetting the fact that I have 2 essays(1 due Monday), 10++ PS graphs, some math exercise, some physics exercise, some chemistry exercise, a small test on Monday & for some reasons waking up even before the alarm rings every single day(and i dnt knw how i did it= =). Yeah. Hell on earth. So damn pressured btw .. :(

What am I complaining anyway, most likely there are many more insane people(a.k.a nerds*no offece* :P) out there facing even worst odds and still havent even shivered one bit & still grinning widely cause being blessed with so 'few' homework.

A glimpse of the past. Blurry images yet still clear marks on my life paintings. I will never forget.

And things now are far too familiar with what was before. Time to abscond, leaving everything behind. Its not worth it. It never did, all but of a statistically error. The heart had failed to convince the rationality that things will get better. Let it rain, let the thunder roar, I faced worst, & I am holding my ground. Cooled my head, Closed my eyes, Shut downed the soul within. Time to clear my mind. The road ahead aint easy..full of thorns and broken glass. Definitely there are fears, but I;m gonna face it head on. no more great escapes.
somehow, nothing is okay recently .. & to think a new year is a new opportunity to right all the wrongs.

P/s:Wake up dude, time to face reality. It hurts but its always better than lying to urself.

Random photo session

Last thing I should be doing right now. Thats sitting right here blogging & msn-ing.Decided to close my book & came here to blog to chill awhile.

3 days into school and I felt as if I lost my soul. LOL..I know I am exaggerating..but yeah, I hate this routine.. having to wake up even before the sun rises..is just so wrong!!! Had a random photo session that day before meeting with the Usst-ians. Was quite fun .. we all love the cameras XD
Pictures followed~

爱"笑"组 :P
gee.. we look serious huh? Like very unfriendly..
2nd pose
Well actually .. we are all friendly people, see? we smiled!!!
Cert phobia!!!
The Boys
Behold!! The President!! AHAHA
my life might be in danger for posting this pic.. as usual..:P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, Pieces don't fit here anymore
"Pieces don't fit anymore-James Morrison"

Heard this song while I was doing homework & somehow it reminisced me on afew things of the past. Probably what I really wanted, is all along in my past. But I guess its no longer something worth hoping for. The pieces don't fit anymore.. let it remained broken. A new one will come take its place.

Kays, rested my mind, pulled myself together. Now time to resume running!!!


P/s: Time table still in progress =_________________________=

Carpe Diem

in Latin, it means 'Seize the day'

At 1st I wasnt, but now I did. Life as usual :D

1st day of school. Morning I woke up earlier than the alarm. The weather was cold.. really really cold.. and the sky is dark & havin slight rains.. its like a gloom doom atmosphere & Im nt that happy either nor havin a peace of mind. Reached school & had my 1st problems with the school authorities. Seems my fringe is too long & I was warned to have it cut off by tomoro, which I did!!! Other than that things were actually quite smooth and I did enjoy my day :) . My chem teacher this year is no longer Pn.Sim. Its now Mr.Hee!!! Well, theres hope for my Chem now! :D Also had the same class this year.. yeah the one stuck in the corner of the school.. like a bunch of outcast= =. And my class pupils has shrunk from around 25strong last year May to 16 people only. Its jst soo quiet .. sooo dead.. >.< well at least the boys are still noisy at times.

Well this year.. I am definitely gonna work hard & in class thats mean I'm gonna be a friggin nerd = =||, laugh all u want, I dont giv a crap bout it.Enough slacking, procrastination, blind dreams. Its time I really put my mind into it. I've screwed up last year.. BAD.. & this year I had to work up harder to cover last year mistakes. Nonetheless, its time to turn things around..yesterday will make you stronger.

New year resolution?
hmm well.
1) get decent grades
2) get a dslr(hope so)
3) no CAR CRASHES(like seriously..I knw I shud drive more carefully)
4) swimming :D
5) get an owner for the keychain.(we'll see how, Nt likely gonna happen)



P/s: Now, where was I? oh yeah.. making a timetable.. :P

Goodbyeee HOLIDAYS!!!

Woke up today morning by a weird dream .. like.. seriously weird.. and nonetheless scary. Guess returning to school pressure is hitting me .. oh well. Spent most of my morning sitting at my study desk trying to sketch out my goals for this year and also a timetable(its 1st time in life where I actually make a timetable for my own personal life *proud* :P) and where do I want to see myself at the end of this year. Well, the timetable havent materialize yet.. but rest assured its not procrastination!!! Duh, figured myself since when did I want to get so organized.. or became an organized freak.

One things for sure.. I am turning down on my rational side..almost every side of it. Entering Form 6 itself is already rejecting the rational & the common sense within me. Nevermind that, following my heart&intuition for once wont hurt..right? Besides, I have full confidence that I can survive Form 6 pretty well.. which all I gotta do is put my mind into it & stop slacking. Well, the slacking part definitely not gonna be easy :P

Spent the rest of my day rotting at home and also browse through some funny demotivate™ photos.. which is actually for some reason.. depressing ..= = (dont bother asking why CAUSE I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW DID IT HAPPEN). Probably I'm not taking loneliness that good anymore.. lol. Enjoy the pics~

If any of you are figuring why all the frequent update of sudden .. well thats probably due to the coming days I most likely wont be active in the internet realm anymore. Well.. I hope its real .. shud spent more time facing the books than facebook/blog/msn/whatever...
I know i am gonna miss you ... ALOT when school starts.
And I felt like shit even thinking bout me gonna miss you
And I know the feelings is not mutual
still, thanks for making me so alive for the past few weeks
Though I know ur not smart enough to see this :P
P/s: Packed my bags, got my shoes, cleaned my desk.. I am gonna take you seriously 2010.. no more the usual jolly go around me.
P/s/s: I know i've been ranting alot lately... dont worry.. I will do that alot less after school starts :)
P/s/s/s: Enjoy Schooling to all fellow students!! ToT

Twenty Ten

Reluctantly, I've immersed myself into this year.. with a heavy heart of leaving December behind. For oh to many reasons I would hope My December last year never ends. But, as humans, we are all bound to the laws of time & nature. Time, is inevitable.. U can't escape it. Twenty Ten, better treat me better than Twenty ZeroNine or I'll ask Enjun's snowball to bite you ..HAHA

Kays, ranting aside. Started my New year by indulging myself with some appropriate rest. But still.. after only 10hours of sleep (which is nt enuf) I was dragged of by Mom to Tesco to get my pens/pencil and other stuffs for school. A simple shopping for stationery turns into a restock of my house food supply.. = =" dont even want to ask how it happened.

2 more days.. and my life will take place here.

School.. Nvr thought that I once miss this place = =||

It's all about finding the right key for the right door and opening it at the right moment to a world of infinite possibilities and wonders.. simple to say .. precision.