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JamesChang. A person when laughs, will sound as if a million hens clucking in joy for laying eggs. A person that is also at times unpredictable and random. On occasions can be so dull that you might catch a cold, yet could be so wild that you might end up with a fever. So stay tuned, and prepare for a rollercoaster ride. Cause life is full of ups and downs.

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Friday, September 30, 2011

And

Here it comes.

Game face on. I'm now in the 11th hour before competition starts. Cross my fingers say my prayers & hope all goes well.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It sucks

              When you give all you can give, and it is still not enough.
It sucks, when you are doing the best you can, so you will not be a burden to anyone, it backFires.
It sucks, when I ran as fast as I could, it just won't cut it. 
It sucks, when I jump and reach as high as I can possibly reach, the disc just fly past my fingertips.

And I always ask, why?
Why I could not jump higher, or run faster. Or mayb, why do I panic. 
And everytime, every single time, I can give a reason for it. But perhaps, it's time to put those reason, or excuses behind. It's time to accept one cold harsh fact. I am not good enough.

To be honest, I was at my breaking point at the field today... I am so disappointed with my own performance. It's like I am a handicapped person on the field. I have a pair of legs. a pair of arms but why I can't do what others did so well?

But, no. I had given up on many things in life. I might had at a point in life given up one of my life goals. But No. I will not give up on myself. 

They breathe the same air as I do, eat the same food as I do. There is no reason that I can't perform as well or at least close to the others. Time, I need time to be better. Time, it is always time. I will be better in time, I will return better and stronger. I will be back, faster then before. I might suck at this Open, But I'll be back.. And I will be better. 

Apologize to the readers(if any) for the emo-ish and very self beating post. I just had quite a hard time. Sigh, I need a morale boost, or maybe even some motivation.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Seven Days

You can always predict what might happen, or even deduce what would happen.. but chances are your expectations might not coincide with reality. 

So, conclusion? Carpe Diem.

Competition is 7 days away, and without a doubt this week would be on High gear for everyone. If my life is a movie this week would be flashes of trainings and classes with a building up soundtrack as the back drop. Perhaps the song of Down River by The temper trap might be an interesting add. 

Anyways spend less then 24 hours in Ipoh just for the sake of stpm certs and some documents for ptptn. Mom seem particularly unhappy about it ..lol. But oh wells, It's not like I'm not coming back at all. To be honest, I wish time would allow me to stay longer as well. But I cannot stop the momentum now, taking a few days off is very risky at this stage.. best is to keep everything on high gear till the end of the competition.

Most of all, hope everyone will have a good time :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I wonder

sometimes, am I good enough?

Time to put on my Game face. Gonna tough it out give my best.

P/s: Yes, I'm doubting

And i do like you. And I do feel that ur the right one. To hell with 'let's see how things goes', it's horse crap & words arranged together so that I can calm myself. And maybe it's true. I'm just afraid of having to go out of the comfort zone and risk getting rejected again. Maybe it's true, I just have not fully recovered yet. But I do hope i am liking you for the right reasons.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Unending Love

by Hillsongs


Got to know this song from CF Facebook page. Pretty much a prayer I would wanna pray to Him right now. 

Letting go of my pride
I lay down my desires
Just to worship in Spirit and truth
More than all of my dreams
More than fame I will seek You Lord

P/s: Never loose sight of the finishing line.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sixpence none the richer

 Kiss Me Lyrics


Was watching a fan video(sunny's) that day and i heard this song. Find it quite soothing and nice :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Perhaps

The day hasn't show all it's cards.

I know most of the time I am not speaking sense. Anyhow, I just wish today would last longer. And hopefully, best is now and better is to come :)

Also did some photoshooting for ICF 1st meeting of the semester! Although alot of spoilt shots *thanks to rusty camera skills* I did manage to capture some nice ones :D
Seed | Regeneration

P/s: Wanted to upload more pics, but slow internet. Bah.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

If you were an ice cream flavor

You would be my favorite one :)

Maybe I am judging things too soon.. Or perhaps it is just me wanting to move on from my current situation.

I am conflicted, yet again. At one end, I wanted to get to know you more and perhaps in the near future be something more then friends. On the other end, the fear of rejection grips me. And I know clearly I need to be emotionally stable for at least this coming few months in this place where I am alone.

But yeah, every time I had manage to convince myself that right now I am best being single for now, the Universe just seems to like to screw around with me and give me hope that perhaps there is chances. Anyhow I am gonna just live life as it goes. I will walk my pace and I won't rush things.. I know clearly If I am serious about this I can be as persistent as I ever could be, and waiting is something I am willing to do.

Of course, my goal is still clear. Get good grades, build a good career, and get a stable income. And right now I am just indulging in abit of off track desires :D

Also, today frisbee training was quite intense. Been awhile I felt this tired. However I foresee more similar training like this. Drills drills and more drills. I don't want to be a burden to my team! And I definitely don't want them to not be able to achieve their goals cause 1 person in the team didn't give his 100%.  So far I've made little improvements, but I know it doesn't come close to being enough at all. I am gonna try harder, and harder. And I will expect results.

Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. Shared by PasterChris.

On another note, find it weird that my learning skills teacher today talks about life philosophy instead of teaching 'learning skills' = =. Also she quoted in class, whatever which is yours, will be yours in the end. Weird coincidence given that the same quote was shared by a friend way back in Ipoh.

On that bombshell, It's time to end this long post. I seriously need some good rest.

P/s: Oh and no pics. Didn't take much recently .. hehe

Friday, September 9, 2011

1st Mile

So, officially started my 2nd semester. 1st week was pretty tough, specially the mornings. One of my lecturers actually reminds me of my form 6 days. But the mornings are tough, it is the night that made the days better. 


Joining ultimate frisbee does release some pent up stress. U knw, stress away from home, loneliness, studies, and so on. Getting addicted to running my hearts out at the field.. really a good way to de-stress. *Runs and Screams*

Kays, enough craps. Coming 3 weeks is gonna be crucial. I've joined AIMST open, and I will be in the 2nd team. Gonna push my self further and improve myself more for the game. Been accident prone as well, fell twice in a week and open up bck my old wound. Damn pain.

But then. No pain, No gain. Fall down seven times, get up eight. Keep running! Hwaiting!
Oh and yeah, enjoying air-cond and amazingly fast internet speed at the multipurpose hall. Ahh paradise! :D

Friday, September 2, 2011

Calm

before the storm.

When the world you're in is still again
And it all fades out
You've reached the end, begin again now

As this long break draws to a close, I foresee a busy semester ahead. One with hectic classes(quite), tough subjects as well as personal goals that I am never before more eager to achieve now. 
I've looked back, and things are so different now than bck then. To everything there is a season in life, there is a season of mourning, a season of trials, a season of rest, a season of labor as well a season of reaping. Still waters, heavy hearts. The still waters only represents the inevitable storm ahead. I will survive this storm, and enjoy life at the same time.

Time heals :)

- Hit Count -