It's worth it

a month of questioning, laboring, sacrifices. A month of inconsistent rest, roller coaster ride of stress and burden.

Seeing those hands raised that night, last night. I stood there, teared up a little, and told God, "Dear God, this is worth it, this is so worth it".

yet i realized, weirdly.

It is also a month of me drawing closer to God, me prying a little deeper into knowing God, also a month, of me practicing "lean not on your own understanding but rely on God".

I could not have believed all this is possible, I just could not, but it did. And I shall say, Praise God.

And

we don't care about the young folks
Talking 'bout the young style
And we don't care about the old folks
Talking 'bout the old style too
And we don't care about our own faults
Talking 'bout our own style
All we care about is talking
Talking only me and you

Sometimes you'll drop by something you'll never expect you'll like and got so overly addicted to it. As unwise as it sounds. 

Ground control

we lost major Tom.

Sometimes I feel like cowering behind a wall, and hide from the world. Away from the responsibilities, away from expectations, away from necessity and just live like how I i wanted to be.

Sometimes I feel like taking that discouragingly step away from that cliff. But everytime this surge of "you'll regret it" just fuse me to take the leap. That and me sometimes hearing the echo of a long lost love sing ground control to major Tom. She was long lost for a reason and she will be deemed so in the abyss.

Merry 2014

Same shit different timing. Just go back to living the principle of "the man I am today is never as good as the man I am tomorrow".

May all of your resolutions be pursued with utter fervency and dedication my friends. Lets take this year together.

Holidays

gives me time and space to put things into perspective. Time to collect my self and resume walking the walk of life. I've moved on. Quite literally. 

A true friend

is one who will go with you to a field in the middle of the night and have a beer and just talk crap on one of those days where you have truly given up on believing.

Sincerely. Thank you so much.

Swept by High Seas

Dear love on the high seas, drift away and be swept away by the winds and tides.
May the force of the seas bring you to friendly shores, May you find joy in the islands you visit.
But don't return, leave and never come back, not even a glace to this past
Drift away and be swept away by the winds and tides, like a bottle carrying a message
But remember my deeds, remember the man I tried and failed to be.
For I as young and as foolish as I were, I tried my best bitterly not good enough
My best will be better, the man I am now will be shadowed by who I will one day become
So, I bid you farewell, you're just a chapter, a meant to be but never was
Twas a many great weeks of my life sharing and just talking
One I will hold on to in the coming many cold nights and harsh days
but I bid you farewell, for you're just a chapter, never was but meant to be
Our eyes will never meet again for you're a poison which I desire but could never drink
Dear love, remember my deeds and the man I failed but tried pathetically to be
Perhaps someday, in a land far far away from this shore, I'll hear of your tale
But please, have a man who is far better than who I am,
For the prettiest of pearls only deserves the prettiest of maidens.