Mays, or Maybes.

As a new month sets in, guess I am on different grounds now. Officially, I am into my 2nd year of studies. Time sure pass by fast.

I am quite distressed at the moment. Filled with anxiety and insecurities. Sem Break always gave me loads of time to think. But maybe I've been thinking too much. I've been planning too much for the future, and for that I've jeopardize my experience of the present.

I wish to be a child again sometimes, without a world to face but just the embrace of my parents. I wish to be as naive as a kid again, I would do better without those blardy two faced bitches and sons of bitches. But time has always been true and unkind. It never lies and it never waits.

I am gonna start letting things go. Let things just ride by it's own. I've been holding on to ideologies and concepts to the point of being dogmatic. It's hard, but it's time to open up my mind. I might go back to being my old self, but they said admitting is the 1st step of change.

There's always a child in us.

Yes. I screwed up. I made things complicated. Perhaps I am too blinded by what I wanted to fully realize whats best for everyone. Perhaps, I was at that heat of the moment, selfish. Perhaps, that wasn't even the right one at all.

I'll wait. By faith I believe, someday when the time is right, things will fall into it's place.

Bumped on this song when i was going through Joel's song collection.

Conversation with the Stars by Brightwood

My love, I'll wait for you
Will you wait for me?
Mmm-mmm-mmm

For now, I'll make believe
I'm a knight, riding to your castle
Mmm-mmm-mmm

I'm almost there

I went to a hillside
Laid down with the stars
I heard a cricket's love song
But nothing of you

Laid awake countless nights thinking
What you might be like
Out of an ocean of faces
Have I met your eyes?