As for me

This is a post about me tracing back to the awareness of politics. It is just something personal about me. So yeah.


well, I'll have to start from the very top. I was 1st introduced to politics when I was studying history back when I was in high school, where we touched on UMNO, MCA, Barisan National and so on. Kinda think of it, funny how that our text book never thought us about the forming of DAP and PAS or maybe it was just me not paying attention in class.

Back then, I was a strong supporter of the ruling government. I look highly on Dr.M, seeing him as the man who modernized our nation, the man who improved our living conditions, the man, who above all else, put our little country on the map. And there was proof everywhere, the twin towers, the north south highway, Putrajaya, Cyberjaya, those adverts on tv, all of them portraying how great this country is. But funny thing is, no matter how hazy it seems, i do remember a few important details, like the scene of Anwar getting sent to jail, I have no idea why I never really forget that, I only remember my mom told me who he was and that's it, no frank idea how he made an impression on me. Then I remember seeing Dr.M suddenly announcing his retirement, he wept on the pulpit with people pleading him not to.

But other than that, most of the time I take an ignorant stance in this matter. I was like 'Hey, it's not really affecting me anyways, so why bother?' My parents never really talked to me about it either. My 1st time knowing there was such a thing called a general election was during 2004. I was form 1. I did not really bother about it back then, I heard about MCA and that's it. I do know about our new PM back then, Badawi, and praises was sang about him by my elders saying how inspiring he is quoting from him "Work with me, not for me". It was a first time our country have a new PM in decades. Still, I stood by the ruling government, patronizing them, holding them as the moral high ground. In my mind, I am doing my job as a good citizen. Also, I was introduced to the term corruption and how he is actively trying to clear it out of the government.

Then came 2008. This time, I am quite clear on what's going on, well at least I want to think so. I know about the opposition, DAP PAS PKR. PKR specially, with Anwar claiming he can take over the government and of sorts, and even him claiming that he have contacts from BN ppl willing jump over to his side. And also him trying to initiate a vote of no confidence against that time's PM, Badawi. He made a lot of noise, so much so that I actually noticed him. You have to understand 1 thing, back then I'm still very oblivious about my country, news is a bore to me and I could care less, so it is either major disasters that caught my attention or something big. So now, Anwar, I remember him from when I was a kid, he caught my attention. Yet, I see him as a villian trying to disturb the peace, trying to ruthlessly take over the government. And when they initiated attacks on Dr.M in my mind I took Dr.M's side, in my mind, how can this man, the father of modernization of my country, the man who put this little country on the world map, be charged of anything? I was still naive.

After election, it seems it was a game changer this time, Penang fell to the opposition, and BN no longer hold 2/3 majority. I did not know it mattered back then. I also know that Perak fell to opposition for the 1st time. I was pretty okay with that, or I was just ignorant. My elders applaud however, saying that it's something new, and I was happy, simply just because they are. Then, something angered me. I start reading about how Perak was taken back by BN, how unjust it was and what tricks was used. It was an open secret. No action was taken against those who are involved, even the Sultan approved this due to some circumstances(many many senstive information to be explained I assume). I was angry, the government that I hold highly, actually did this. For the 1st time, I've witnessed corruption in broad day light. On news, On tv, it was a joke, even to the whole world. I was sad, angry even on how can such injustice be tolerated. Let alone tolerated, nothing was even carried out, no investigation. Nothing. It was the 1st time, I felt disappointment at this country. Then came our new PM, his reputation was already tainted for you-know-what reasons. Point blankly, I lost faith in the current government.

After 2008, my curiosity increased, I realized I need to know more. And I so I did, I started to see the news, and read the newspapers. Yet I realized something, this is not right, all the news is telling my country is doing ok. It doesn't seem normal to me. So I went online. I was forced when I 1st entered university, since there was no actual newspapers to read(i was lazy to walk to the library). It opened my eyes. I learned the depth of corruption in my country, the deficit our country is suffering which struck fear even to me. I learned about the inequalities of student distribution in universities and scholarships when I was form 5 and form 6. All this, unfairness, injustice. My country, is not doing okay. Then when there was riots and rebellion in the middle east, I realized that our government is somehow manipulating our local media from here and there during this period. And I since then, boycotted it, most of it. I could not trust the local media anymore, and I followed my online sources instead.

And by them time 2013 came, I've fully realized that there needs to be change. The amount of corruption and elitism by this government does not represent a healthy democracy neither it is good for this country and it's rakyat.

And this is my journey of awareness in politics. Awkwardly, it is BN very own actions that made me aware of this subject.