Yes.No?

I know I am back on 'yes man' mode. But this yes, is just a yes too big to yes to. Oh my conscious please go easy on me for this once.

A little ways down the road

I'm at a phase of life where it will be labelled as 'a little ways down the road'.

Right now, I am sincerely in a situation where I have no idea what to do or what decision to take. I just have zero take on it. And it shall be shelved again, till when the weather permits and I shall resume my book.

Of all these things

the ups and downs, one thing that brought me the heaviest of griefs, is watching my parents grow old. And it is more profound since I am not seeing them daily.

Kids, never think a single child is fun. You have no idea what it is like.

Sometimes

I just feel so small and so unqualified for so many things.

Insanity

sometimes a little of it makes life interesting.

and in the midst of doubts

and fear, perhaps it is time to live a little.

Time to be that yes man again shall I? Think I should.

I missed it

somehow. So many years, so many moments, and i just did not come to realize it until it was too late.

It's troubling, seeing how blinded I was by the unnecessary. It's saddening, that I did not take the opportunity. And whats more frustrating is that I am drawn to a dead vineyard that after so much plowing and waiting, it never bear fruit. If only time can be turned back, things might be so different right now. Maybe yes maybe no. Perhaps it is for the best.

It's puzzling anyway, what i just written, but i just need to get it off my chest. Plus, anyone reading the story would not believe it as well, perhaps only the very few in the circle who already knew.

I was blinded, not by one but by 3 person over the period of 5 years. How can I be so blind where you were always there. Now we are so different that I start to doubt we ever met or ever be friends. The realization might had came too late, but perhaps this is just what it is suppose to happen. I'll make up for it, if our lives ever cross paths again.