Geronimo & leaps

Sometimes I think too much. Too far ahead. Included too much possibilities.

All in an effort to anticipate whats next. I suppose this was grown from me playing chess in early child hood. I always try to imagine all the possible outcomes but to be still be caught off guard most of the time in the end.

I guess for this time, let's yell geronimo and take the plunge in the great unknown.

"Adventure awaits!"

Decisions

The decision which I am to take now, has to be out of personal conviction. Not because a book said so, not because some one said its the right way. But its out of my own conviction.

I have to take this step. I got myself into it the first place and now I have to get myself out. For my own sake. For the sake of the people i am going to meet in the future. For so much more.

All this for the greater good. No regrets. I'd need time to get over it. Probably I'll mourn and probably i'll have to bury this deep into the ground. But no regrets.

For the greater good.

And? well, the earth, laughs in flowers.

Do you know laugh is contagious? I've observed on this subject so much that I have my own conclusions up my own back of my head.

It's funny. That I am progressing in life but I am struggling to make decisions. Crossroads that you're coming across and the position you're in where you have to be very independent.

I guess this is part of growing up? God, i'm committing everything to you. I've given up on making my own way. I'll plan, but with an attitude of surrenderrance, knowing and willing to let You change as You see fit. And dear rabbit. That includes you. You gotta go.

Perhaps till time is right. Or perhaps finally when something else.

"we're always so caught up with our own problems that we forgot the ultimate purpose, and the higher calling"

Openings

Apparently a contract staff position opened. Should i?

Dear Rabbit

How is it possible that you still lingered?

But yet apparently, here I am, baited to stay, baited to dig deeper, probably deeper than before, probably chasing blind dreams and madness. I know i have a fair share of blind dreams that would make even the idiotic optimist laugh and probably my madness is induced by work. Perhaps I am right now an unstable concoction. Perhaps.

By my calculations and self drawn out timeline by now i should've had moved on, forget about, and be very dive deep in work. But i guess numbers don't always tell the truth. If they do, mathematicians would've ruled the world.

Aside from the unmeaningful, totally non-related to me post, Msft extended my internship. Woots. 1 little step closer to full time. A small step for an intern, a giant leap for James.



P/s: Maybe we should stop those shenanigans. Selfishly for my own good.

Days

There are days where it is just so bad that it could not even be described. Days where you're so weak and tired that you do not even want to complain but to just go to be silently and pray for a better day tomorrow. Today is one of those days.

Such is life

So intern. I don't even know where to start. So much went on, so much went through and still so much more.

Nah. I won't talk about it yet. It's work hard, play hard. And sleep is optional.