And

Here it comes.

Game face on. I'm now in the 11th hour before competition starts. Cross my fingers say my prayers & hope all goes well.

It sucks

              When you give all you can give, and it is still not enough.

It sucks, when you are doing the best you can, so you will not be a burden to anyone, it backFires.

It sucks, when I ran as fast as I could, it just won't cut it. 

It sucks, when I jump and reach as high as I can possibly reach, the disc just fly past my fingertips.

And I always ask, why?

Why I could not jump higher, or run faster. Or mayb, why do I panic. 

And everytime, every single time, I can give a reason for it. But perhaps, it's time to put those reason, or excuses behind. It's time to accept one cold harsh fact. I am not good enough.

To be honest, I was at my breaking point at the field today... I am so disappointed with my own performance. It's like I am a handicapped person on the field. I have a pair of legs. a pair of arms but why I can't do what others did so well?

But, no. I had given up on many things in life. I might had at a point in life given up one of my life goals. But No. I will not give up on myself. 

They breathe the same air as I do, eat the same food as I do. There is no reason that I can't perform as well or at least close to the others. Time, I need time to be better. Time, it is always time. I will be better in time, I will return better and stronger. I will be back, faster then before. I might suck at this Open, But I'll be back.. And I will be better. 

Apologize to the readers(if any) for the emo-ish and very self beating post. I just had quite a hard time. Sigh, I need a morale boost, or maybe even some motivation.

Seven Days

You can always predict what might happen, or even deduce what would happen.. but chances are your expectations might not coincide with reality. 

So, conclusion? Carpe Diem.

Competition is 7 days away, and without a doubt this week would be on High gear for everyone. If my life is a movie this week would be flashes of trainings and classes with a building up soundtrack as the back drop. Perhaps the song of Down River by The temper trap might be an interesting add. 

Anyways spend less then 24 hours in Ipoh just for the sake of stpm certs and some documents for ptptn. Mom seem particularly unhappy about it ..lol. But oh wells, It's not like I'm not coming back at all. To be honest, I wish time would allow me to stay longer as well. But I cannot stop the momentum now, taking a few days off is very risky at this stage.. best is to keep everything on high gear till the end of the competition.

Most of all, hope everyone will have a good time :)

I wonder

sometimes, am I good enough?

Time to put on my Game face. Gonna tough it out give my best.

P/s: Yes, I'm doubting

And i do like you. And I do feel that ur the right one. To hell with 'let's see how things goes', it's horse crap & words arranged together so that I can calm myself. And maybe it's true. I'm just afraid of having to go out of the comfort zone and risk getting rejected again. Maybe it's true, I just have not fully recovered yet. But I do hope i am liking you for the right reasons.

Unending Love

by Hillsongs

Got to know this song from CF Facebook page. Pretty much a prayer I would wanna pray to Him right now. 

Letting go of my pride
I lay down my desires
Just to worship in Spirit and truth
More than all of my dreams
More than fame I will seek You Lord

P/s: Never loose sight of the finishing line.

Sixpence none the richer

 Kiss Me Lyrics

Was watching a fan video(sunny's) that day and i heard this song. Find it quite soothing and nice :)

Perhaps

The day hasn't show all it's cards.

I know most of the time I am not speaking sense. Anyhow, I just wish today would last longer. And hopefully, best is now and better is to come :)

Also did some photoshooting for ICF 1st meeting of the semester! Although alot of spoilt shots *thanks to rusty camera skills* I did manage to capture some nice ones :D

Seed | Regeneration

P/s: Wanted to upload more pics, but slow internet. Bah.