It sucks

              When you give all you can give, and it is still not enough.

It sucks, when you are doing the best you can, so you will not be a burden to anyone, it backFires.

It sucks, when I ran as fast as I could, it just won't cut it. 

It sucks, when I jump and reach as high as I can possibly reach, the disc just fly past my fingertips.

And I always ask, why?

Why I could not jump higher, or run faster. Or mayb, why do I panic. 

And everytime, every single time, I can give a reason for it. But perhaps, it's time to put those reason, or excuses behind. It's time to accept one cold harsh fact. I am not good enough.

To be honest, I was at my breaking point at the field today... I am so disappointed with my own performance. It's like I am a handicapped person on the field. I have a pair of legs. a pair of arms but why I can't do what others did so well?

But, no. I had given up on many things in life. I might had at a point in life given up one of my life goals. But No. I will not give up on myself. 

They breathe the same air as I do, eat the same food as I do. There is no reason that I can't perform as well or at least close to the others. Time, I need time to be better. Time, it is always time. I will be better in time, I will return better and stronger. I will be back, faster then before. I might suck at this Open, But I'll be back.. And I will be better. 

Apologize to the readers(if any) for the emo-ish and very self beating post. I just had quite a hard time. Sigh, I need a morale boost, or maybe even some motivation.