3rd time's the charm?

A blink of an eye and i'm coming to a close of my 3rd sem. Time sure flies faster this time around. Anyways, here we go,

Finals. 

Thank God my course work marks is better than expected. :D

Reality hits

My heart sank when I saw what I saw. Literally. I was busy that night, but seeing what I saw, I just stopped everything and sat down, looking at the monitor screen, at lost. I've never felt this way for a very long long time. 

But turns out, it was unreal. How ironic it is that the events of unreal actually hits you with reality. Guess from now on, I shall take this a little more seriously. I still believe in right timing, taking things slow blah blah, but from now on, I would take hold of any opportunity I can get. I am, as my own self, unwilling to give up without a fight.

anyways.

Enough of that jiwang ish post. Last weekend went for Nottingham Ultimate Open. I was in the main team(considering they only sent one team) for the 1st time in my life. However, I did not perform to my expectations. I could've done so much better, so much more, and less of those simple dumb mistakes. But I did not. I would not give myself the excuse that I was 'off form'. That's bullshit. I should be better than that.

Due to me, unable to outrun my markers, unable to catch up with my markers, made simple throw mistakes, bad decisions, and as well, no pivots. I think I have to really work on that. I did do some good passes, but then that should already be a norm. Not to set high expectations, but I did improved abit. Now I am stuck. Guess I have pump in again twice the effort to move up this barrier. 

Still, it was a good game. Did not reached our aim of top 3 thou. Instead we ended up at 9th placing, or winner in looser pool. Pics credit to the photographers(dont know who they are). 

The team

Disc Catching!

When bad became worse

Been a tough week. Really. I know I told myself not to complain cause some others might got it worse than me, but I guess I am near my limits.

4days of 7 tests and 2 assignments. It is literally a fun deprived week. And the pressure of upcoming competition lingering. It is maddening. Then, tonight. Bah, I don't even wanna speak about it.

Still, stay strong. Keep it together and frigging move on. This is what the world expect all the unlucky others to do anyway.

When I was a kid

I would wonder sometimes, what would it be like to receive a phone call from God. What would he tell me, what would we talk about, what he will reveal to me, and on and on. Naive indeed. Yet, even after so many years, I still wonder sometimes, what would it be like if I receive a phone call from Him.

But then, the thing is, even there isn't a direct phone line from heaven to earth, God still uses other means to communicate to us. Personally, today, my prayer was answered. Again. 

and now, I shall believe.

There comes a time

that one has to learn to set apart feelings and logic.

And for me, the time would be now. I am always affected by my feelings. I know it's stupid, but one person can literally make or break my day. I tried to not let this get to me, but sometimes it will. One does not simply control their feelings. Everyone is different, and i guess for my case, I'm just a little more sensitive.

My February has been one of accomplishments, troubles and also a very emotional month for me. It's been filled with ups and downs, and some part of it it is quite challenging. However, towards the end of feb, things did lighten up.

Ended my February with a trip to KK with fellow stingrays. The main reason i went there was to visit KK, and in the mean time joined the Borneo Head Hunters. Luckily did improved abit this time around and wasn't a burden to the team. Heck I even achieved more than I expected. My main goal was to do good passes and minimize disc drops. Although I did just moderately in those two aspects, I also managed to get a score and an assists.

Photo credits to Erwin. Which is the MVP of the entire hat tourney.

It was the 1st score of my life in a competition. What's more, it's a 1st score of my team in the game. I will never forget that.

and yep. I'm in the pink team. = =.

and now, Marching on.

It got me thinking

that perhaps,

Life does not called us to finish the race 1st.

Life simply want us to finish the race,

and enjoy every single bit of the journey.

At our own pace.

I should stop worrying then.

Got jolted up by a nightmare, not that scary, just that it felt very real to me. Now have to find a way back to sleep.

Anyway, about my 2011

 Super late. Oh well doubt anyone is gonna be reading nways. I'll just write so I can view back another time.

So, 2011. I started out this year declaring to myself that this is gonna be my an awesome year. Still however, my year didn't start out quite well. I was in a dire situation. I flunked my STPM, and that was just half of my problem. I have no direction with life, totally dependent on parents, and no idea what I plan to do in the future. 

Long story short, on April Fool, Jason rang me up and say my result is qualified for degree. Thought it was a prank initially. lol. Then went down to nilai during weekend and voila. I got into INTI nilai. With zero hiccups.

The start of my uni life also meant a literally Chapter 2 in my life. I will be leaving home and to a place full of strangers. Seriously, When I went to INTI  I only know 1 guy there, guess who. Things however, improved as I went along. And by the end of the year, INTI is like a second home already.

Over this year there are many firsts,

driving over 200miles one shot

time almost forgetting my birthday

time presenting to a ceo

time flicking

time getting paid for doing what i love

time getting an award for my passion

my very 1st jersey

and so on.

I would say taking the option of going to a place where I am almost alone wasn't a mistake. I was given the opportunity to discover what I really love and hate, and the opportunity to be a new person without the ties of the past.

A short photo montage of the year.

 

I actually participated in sports for real for once. And It's Ultimate Frisbee. Due to my bad stamina and not athletic lifestyle, it took me quite a long time to pick up this game. Still, a long journey to go to fully master it. 

Got to know some awesome people as well through the game. Things they do really reminded me of high school days.

And thank you to those who took this pic with me. As a person with a camera, I tend to be out of shot a lot. And weirdly, I find myself camera shy at most times. Again, thanks for this picture ;)

Also, as life goes, there are times you felt you nearly got something, or found. And just at the last second as your heart skips a beat, it slips off your hand.

Of course, there are those down times as well. Time where we lost, fear and teared. When things slipped off our fingers or lost into the abyss taking our hopes and dreams along with it. Times, where I am reminded of how fragile humans are, and times where I learned to depend on God.

And among the pain and problems, we can always choose to give a laugh to the world. Shrug off the defeat and take it in, and never repeat the mistakes that made up those scars. There is so much in life worth laughing and smiling about, it's just a waste to dwell in sadness. Mourn for the lost dreams and pray for the greater others.

Without a doubt. This year had brought my dependency to God on a whole new level, as well as my relationship with Him. I find myself committing more and more to God, letting goes and just 'Let it be'. As one said, Que Sera Sera.

Love Never Fails. I will always hold this quote to heart after 2011.

For the moment and the near future perhaps, I suppose my relationship status would be as the picture above. There will always a lingering desire in me to find a partner where I could share my memories and moments with. But the desire just got a little lesser as the year progress. I will always be in love with the idea of being in love, just that right now, perhaps life wants my attention to be else where.

That's pretty much about it I guess. And this is it, a whole new year ahead. Quoted from a pastor, Best is now, Better is to come. And I know, much more better is coming my way.

"Make mistakes... fight, love...Live" - The Three Musketeers.