It did not rain

on the  3rd day. How could I forget? turns out my verdict was made long ago.

I was asking myself a question that I've had answered a while back. I knew the answer, just that I am not sure what am I gonna do about it. But, enough ranting of it. I will hold on to it, but I will leave it behind in this blog. :)

Anyways, back from a week of pampering in Ipoh. Gonna head off to UiTM tmr for a frisbee competition. It's just 5 v 5 so it's actually quite a small scale.But I have no idea why all the imba teams in Msia are going. I'm in the team, well since they said this is a good chance for newbie to get experience. For one, I guess we are gonna get trashed pretty hard i suppose. Heck, I didn't even train much this week, was busy eating/sleeping & plainly having fun .. lol.

Anyways, hope for the best la. That's all I can do for now.

Btw bumped on this song, I have to say emo alert. And yeah, BrunoMars version is actually better, but I lazy to go search and link it over. 

Calculations.

Screw that. It's either all or nothing.

That decision is a plunge, jump and if it is right I end up in the sea of joy. Do it wrong, I hit the rock and die miserably. Oh well, couldn't get any more complicated then that now can we?

Perhaps i should privatise this blog as well, seems like stuff im posting is getting quite personal.

Decision

must be made.

I don't want to spend 6 months wandering aimlessly achieving less then visible & satisfactory results just to realize it will not work out then spend the next 6 months licking wounds and waiting it to heal.

By this week.

P/s: This is a mental note to self.

The Black & The White

Note: No racism intended.

So I meddle abit with b&w photography. I always have this fond of b&w photos cause it leaves pocket of spaces of imagination. Also, it made it feels like it's something long and precious. I do relate age with value sometimes, as how it was quoted, Old is Gold. But then, it's very hard to represent my concept and perspective why I like b&w photography. 

A few of the shots i've taken during Inti Uni Day. 

JamesC.Photography.

Making memories, Lasting moments.

 Perhaps I need a better catch phrase. Or whatever you call it. 

P/s: It's just for fun, not that I am good enough to start a photography company or something. It is and always will be my hobby, not profession.

Ipoh Mali!!!

Finally.. the air, the water, the food. It is all Ipoh-ly unique. Nowhere does the air smell so free, the water so plainly yet sweet , coffee drug-ly addictive also the food.. It's like Christmas in your mouth when you eat it. ( I know I know .. ALL GRAMMAR ERRORS!!! :P) But yeah, it's been too long away from home.

Nways.. gonna spend sometime chilling in Ipoh. I really need some timeout from life itself. Close those doors and those windows. I want some 'ME' time. 

And I realized one thing. The fact that I could not handle emotion intensive situations is evident enough that I am not ready for a relationship. It just suffocates me. Perhaps it's again, right person wrong timing I suppose. But yeah, I am working on trying to not to be bothered by it. I am honestly putting effort into it.

On the edge

Life lately has been one of the extremes. Not sleeping at all, or sleeping for 12-9 hours at a time. Assignments is a real killer, overly complicated question just so we will have to work for our marks, without learning anything worthwhile. 

My walk with God is quite distorted as well. Sigh, better have  a better discipline in spending time with Him.

But just 1 more day left. 1 more day and it would be a 7 days of worthwhile rest. Test in less then 12 hours, blogging to destress.. lol. Hwaiting!

David Story - Second Great War

Check the lyrics too.

Somehow a song full of mysteries and questions. Yet also a song I can relate too. Been awhile I felt so powerless fighting against a situation. But still if it's not meant to be I have to fight against it till the ver end, when my mind will slowly but surely give in.

Life as we might not know it

You know, little things might be little now. But then, a little down the road, it turns out to be something big.

 look up the sky long enough, and you just might see the best sunset over again and again

For the moment, life is pretty awesome as it is. Still, have to shake off this tingling feeling that I have from time to time. Well, life is awesome, but then it's full of stress too. Stress of assignments. Like seriously, 4 Individual assignments in 2 weeks and 1 test. Not much, but definitely not making life any easier. 2 down, 2 more to go. Hwaiting!

As how the movie depicts it, I guess right now is my routine stage and making memories.

 Life is not a race, you are not getting a trophy if you finish 1st.

Miss some of You people so much. People that gave me courage and mental support. People that would listen to me. Although we are still keeping contact via technology, I still miss those moments together.

Expression

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

- David Borenstein

And I find that I express myself best by pictures and words. In fact, my facial expression is the most inaccurate one. weirdly.

Coming to nilai, I realized a few things. For one, is that I really do love photography. It's hard to explain, but although I am not super good at it like those other Pros out there, I am always driven to take better pictures. Not so I can brag about it, but more like it's a personal trophy and also being able to capture what I am picturing in my mind. 

I know I am making thing sound deep, or I am doing so cause it would make it sound cool. But it's not. There are emotions to my work. Most of my favorite photographs have a story, or emotion behind it. It's like piecing a puzzle of seeing the world through my eyes. Sometimes I am frustrated, cause I could not capture the image I picture up in my mind. But then, that always drives me to try harder & harder. Weirdly though, some of my shots are also purely accidental. I was lucky perhaps. 

Also, I know what I want in someone that I am gonna spend my life with. I need a supporter, not someone that would constantly question me or challenge me. Also, I can't take bossy people well. So yeah, I am starting to understand myself better then ever.

And I cannot really get over you. No matter how busy I am with my days, or how happening life is, there will be moments in life where I would hav you in my mind. You, who can make me run for miles with a smile and still willing to run more. Yes, you, who almost everyone would meet someday. You, where almost everyone on earth would be addicted to. You, falling in love. Falling in love is like a drug, you can say that you are cure from addiction, but you are never really are.

And I guess I am falling. But I just don't know how to approach this situation.

P/s: Pardon the emo-ish post. Since I don't get some heart to heart talk recently I just need a place to spill out all these emotions.

Fix You

Song originally sang by Coldplay but this is Boyce Avenue's cover. Which in my opinion is just as awesome as the original one or maybe slightly better at some parts.

Send me all your angels tonight, I'm barely hanging on.

Last but not least

This is the very last thing I should do right now. But then, I feel the urge to write something down here.

I'm back from Kedah. I did not win any medals, infact we've got trashed pretty hard. Still, we did had fun :) All those moments & memories are priceless. The medals is just a bonus. I will remember my experience here & I will further push myself to achieve higher then what I've reached now. 

"Remember those small little victories" as my TeamCaptain said. A cool guy that always put up a wide smile no matter how hard the situation is. And is always honest to the Team yet still can make the hard truth acceptable. That is what a leader should be.

So much I've learned and realized so much more I need to improve myself. Nothing short then an eye opener :)

P/s: Wanted to include in a photo, but it's too late & I really need some rest.