The NINE and the K

Its been awhile I've updated or posted any shit up here. I've been busy and frankly .. I should say things arent exactly going well. I don't know what the hell happened recently .. neither do I understand what is going on. I've not been drinking caffein either for almost a week .. probably its taking a toll on me.. is this addiction to caffein? o.o Well .. finally today I drank some...dnt feel awesome yet though .. Gonna get more tomoro! :D

Also .. if i've not been replying any e-mails tats most probably coz i forgot that i actually hav an e-mail account and kinda dint check it since last year.. until few days ago .. and theres about 9k (holy shit) unread messages .. I THINK. = ="

And and and and..
I will stop here.. I don't apa should I say. sigh.

P/s: I'm not running out of ideas to blog.. I've got too much to write.. bt dnt knw where to start :(

When solutions can't be found

Let ignorance in. Wander off and come back later to fix the problem.

Having to say that.. I guess I will put on hold all those problems that was disturbing me & just don't seem to be going anywhere no matter the effort I've put in to try and solve it. Instead I should focus on more pressing matters like the 'XinXuan' magazine that is already due date centuries ago = =" , An eternity list long of certs to type, and the list goes on.

I'm already Fed up of compromising. For now at least.

Well.. as for recently I watched 2 awesome movies. Well to save space I guess this picture answers it all. :D

I'm IPRON MAN

Iron man was action loaded & Dowey.Jr is always a fun to watch. However it's IP man that really stands out. It's very hard for me to explain but the kind of humility and humble attitude shown by the main character in the movie is quite impressive. Anyhow that's my comments.

Have you ever took part in the process of creating something great.. no matter how small your role is yet feel ur part of it? And after all these years I'm always tied back to this structure. It may be insignificant to most of you visiting and reading .. but however if you would ask me what is my most vivid memory during my lower form years.. well this is it

If ur still wandering.. yes its man made. And its made by High School students.
The team

P/s: Sleep deprivation. Sigh.

Anger

Definition: A strong emotion, a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance

Well.. was it anger? or frustration? or disappointment?
Was it mis-communication? or Me not paying attention?
I don't know why but I just got fed up today. Fed up of everything.. all the things that I have to put up with. Suffice to say .. I thought of today I can settle most of the problems inherited from last week and weeks before. But today things had gone from wrong to f*cktastic. FML.

Life's good. really?

Okay well. Now you manage survived my rantings let's go down to some pictures. Its taken by the new Vivaz. I'm satisfied with it. Thats all that matters.

Photo taken by Melvin
Went to library at night at the last attempt to brush up on speaking
(actually went there to do PA essay = =)
Don't be deceived. Its FAKE! Haha

Now, lets hope I can break the 2 minute barrier tomoro at Muet speaking.

Can you understand? I need a home. Not a house.

No its not okay

took me forever to realize that fact.


Readers caution: The below paragraph is an outburst of my emotion which I believe would make me feel better if I wrote it here. If its disturbing, well stop reading. If it would really disturb you reader's in anyway when you guys are reading half way.. well do your self a favor, stop your curiosity and stop reading. Curiosity kills a cat.
P/s: What you read may not be what you think it is. Think again.


Okay well.. since a good face to face listener is so hard to find these days..I'll type some out here.

Well put it this way .. I figured I've recovered and ready to take on the world again after some mishaps & mistakes that happened recently. Well .. i'm suspecting that last week was the 1st signs of the trouble buried down under resurfaced.

I thought I was cured of this chronic disease in some way.. but I was wrong. I only feed it with antibiotics...now that it mutated it isnt enough and its coming back strong and hard. The side effects can be seen clearly. I tried, tried to lie to myself a dozen times that it wasnt a problem neither should it take any blame at all.. but its just not the case. And 2nd phase would be Guilt rushing in like an army into a castle with its gate wide open. Guilt for all the incompetence, for all the screw ups, for all the mistakes that would soon overshadow my daylight.

Pathetic. I could even understand how this disease progresses.. obviously i'm quite familiar to it. The usual cure would be find another drug to replace the old one. It cures the symptom yet not the root of the problem. No, no more replacements, this time I need a new commitment. Commitment to my principles. The architecture of a firm base that I wont crumble anymore.






How to avoid taking in all the emotions of anyone walking out of your life?
Don't let anyone in. It never fails.

PEE/ASS: - P/s: well..I guess I need a listener.

Malfunction

Of the brain? Mayb just a small fraction of it.

Well .. this weeks been bizarre. I've been forgetful, tired, frustrated easily. Feeling grumpier than usual and been driving like a mad man on occasions.

Forgetful. Seems I've been out of focus or just a little off this week. Almost lost my car keys, nearly took wrong readings for phys experiment, just today almost lost my club room key and some certs and the list goes on. Well .. probably just a sudden flux of irregularity.



Also, watched a move named '500days of Summer'. Well. I got to know this movie from Enjun's blog. Initially I dint pay any attention to it.. till I read the movie's quotes.. which I find that its kinda hilarious. So I decided to dwl and watch it. The next thing I knew I was sucked into this film. It's beautiful.

Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.
But its a story about love

In any this movie make it worth watching in some mysterious way. I came across very few of this kind of movies, simple no actions .. a move about life that seems simple & boring at its synopsis yet manage to make me glue on the screen without a pit stop. Better than pointless explosion and excessive killing and overexposed emotionless sensual scenes.. a movie bout life is the best.

Well...what this movie is about? Its simply of a transition phase from Summer to Autumn.

Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. 30th of April is a Friday and it rained that morning.

P/s: No, not anger, not furious. I guess its disappointment. Disappointed that more shit than flowers drop from the sky.

Six billion freaks in this world

Why me?
There are moments when I do ask this kind of question.

Heart pounding. Deep slow breathes. Steady hands. Firm grip on the trusty pencil. Sits firmly, unwavered. He told himself "boy, u had made a mess out of everything and anything possible, just not this one ayte?" The minute hand strikes 12 and the church bell rang from a distance broke the dead silence that engulfs the exam hall..then it was quiet again.. birds chirping replaced by dead silence. There isnt any birds to chirp today.. or mayb there isnt any all along. Gently he swayed his head right .. took a good glance. The guy on the left seems confident enough.. starting infront without even a flinch as if he is meditating. What's running on his mind is a mystery...his facial, expressionless.. cool and calm. Then the speakers tore apart the tense silence.. it was a short briefing. He ignored..it was letting him know what he already know. He is waiting.. impatiently.. anticipating for the word.. the 5 words that is suffice to move every muscle of his body , every cell .. every single thought. Then the minute hand hits 2, and the words was spoken. 'Students, you may start now', and from then on he held his breathe for the next 2 and a half hours.

Now, that was almost what happened. As well as I could picture it. Although there is a little alteration.. the examiners speaks Malay.. and ofc holding my breathe for 2 hours was just figurative.
Well, my Muet. Reading was suffocating. LONG LONG PASSAGES.. I'd actually really did slept when I was reading half way. Wth. As for writing.. I was ecstatic when I saw Question B..cause clearly the title was my strong point. But I just gotta have some shitty time management that day and I am only left with 30minutes to complete QB when I'm done with QA. My hands dint even had time for a pit stop its just went on and on till the very last second. And it was really miserable. Then it was listening..oh God. I almost screwed up my 1st passage entirely.. I was blurring on the 1st one.. lucky the recording repeated and I manage to gain back my steps. Well its the 1st time that Eng. test felt like an adrenaline rush. Usually only math or physc will feel this way.. but its different this time. Anyhow, I made up my mind. If I am oh so lucky to score Band 5 I will not retake it.

The night before Muet at school library

Also attended the choir event at Saturday night which the name I have conveniently forgotten. Heck .. free admittance since I was one of the ushers.. And.. well .. i only ushered afew people ... less than ten..haha.. feel darn guilty for slacking. Anyhow.. I believe the singers are talented .. bt i guess the sound system werent on par with the singers.. and therefore ruined the night if you ask me.

I dint even stay till shows over.. I wasnt even there half of the show
so un-supportive.. haha

Also, dad decided to try something new yesterday night and made some homemade pizza.. well it sorta look like pizza.. Sorta. get it? SORTA look like a pizza..haha

He said he cant find the plain pizza crust so he used bread
Funny thing is, he hates cheese.
However according to him Mozzarella is mild and is not as cheesy as the other cheese.. and he is fine with it.
(i think he is referring to the flavor)

Its really simple to make.. all you need is to get the right ingredients and know how long to bake it and ur ready and set to make ur own pizza. Mayb I just make it sound easy.. lol.

Well my rant stops here. I've wrote too much already.

P/s: Theres a German student in my school! Nope, he is not Hitler and he aint tat chubby kiddo that slam his keyboard on youtube.

Out of steam

After a adrenaline rush for the whole morning thanks to Muet , a hustle bustle afternoon and an evening of ushering than a night with friends .. well I'm currently physically as good as dead. Many things to write.. lazy to type.. also lazy to think what to type. Ahh. I'm getting tired so easily.. whats going on?! Apa sai ni .. saya masih muda la!

Anyhow.. kinda screwed up my Muet. I will go further into it later. For now just another short update.

Also.. spending time with childhood buddies does really made me reminisce on my childhood memories. All those funny moments .. idiotic actions. I realize I'm missing my childhood. I miss so much from it. I miss being naive.. being ignorant to all the complications. Sounds dumb and foolish.. but I dnt care what you others think.. this blog is for me to voice out what I feel. I miss Form 4 & Form 5 .. particularly Form 4 .. ahh so much memories.. so filled with moments.

Just remember one fact. One day in the far future we will look back and miss the current present

Now that I realize. My tears had dried up years ago.. and I can still shed occasional tears but I just lost the voice to cry. Is this good? .. Is this being strong? or .. simply being heartless? Is this wrong? ..