Round 2

Fingers crossed. Overconfident of doing well in 1st sem caused me to slack off in 2nd sem. Just let me pass! *shivers*

Yesterdays

Just no idea why, it came back. Still, just something temporary, bet it will subside soon enough. Still, que sera sera :)

Enough

Riding against the tide is suicidal. Just take it and go.

something beyond the rain

Just not sure if the rain will ever stop. But hey, beats not believing it will at all.

Alright, I survived. Now I am back to living life. 1st off, came back Ipoh and immediately started eating again :D .. aww the awesome home cooked food. 

Then got a chance to use my new flash gun. Used it for today's photoshoot for my ex-addmath teacher's wedding. Don't think I am using it to it's full potential yet. Still, much to learn much to understand, much to the taken in. 

 Raja Sehari

1st time being labelled as the official assistant photographer, wing man to the Groom's brother, who is the main photographer. There is even an angpau to boot, and honestly that angpau was very generous, shock the day lights out of me when I opened it. 

Not that I am a super good photographer that is good enough to open a photoshooting studio, but then I am working on improving so to maybe, just maybe use it as a part time job. U know, where I would something of my interest and get paid at the same time. 2 birds with 1 stone. Booyah.

Perhaps. Still, let the future James figure it out.

Christmas soon and this holiday is gonna be like... TONS of photos to filter up. :D

Rivers and Roads

by The Head and The Heart

a year from now we'll all be gone
all our friends will move away
and they're going to better places
but our friends will be gone away

nothing is as it has been
and i miss your face like hell
and i guess it's just as well
but i miss your face like hell

been talking bout the way things change
and my family lives in a different state
and if you don't know what to make of this
then we will not relate
so if you don't know what to make of this
then we will not relate

rivers and roads
rivers and roads
rivers 'til i reach you

 

something like an au lang syne, a song of goodbyes, just that this is more, well, deep i guess. Even the band name sounds good. Imo.

6hours30minutes to my Final Paper of this year.

 

Honestly? I think I did very bad this semester. Literally calculating minimum marks needed to pass. Been slacking off quite abit too. I regret bitterly as I see my coursework mark, regret, but not given up. Fight on like a mad man and now I can only cross my fingers and hope the mad dash effort for my finals was well worth the sacrifice.

I know it's my fault if I fail. Yet, Go easy on my conscious. I know I've been told to take the blame.

 

Been helluva ride this week, seriously. Gonna be absent minded after tomorrow 10am for at least a period of time. Gonna head back to my home, my safe heaven, where I can do all the figuring out that I want or perhaps just let things go and supplement the complexity with ignorance.

 

Simplicity is merely the absence of acknowledgement same goes to complexity is just the absence of ignorance.

Hmm .. pics will come soon! :D

The horror!

Finals again. and then would be a long long break. Or a short break. Whatever.

Say my prayers, cross my fingers, and hold on to my notes for dear life. As usual, I just want to pass. 

Guess I am quite stressed out since quite a few around me is telling me to stop being so stressed. And, I am having insomnia. Literally.

Blank

Cause, I don't think there is anything else I can say.

Still, forget bout the previous post. It's just a sudden mood swing. Lasted few days, but yeah, with exams creeping in, there is no room for it.

Last weekend helped Ah Chai to keep his new widescreen. 2nd hand, but still in good condition. So.. well since it would be a waste just putting it there at the corner of my room, I decided to plug it into my laptop. And after a new place arrangement,  and voilà!!

I dare say I am the ONLY guy at the moment in INTI with this configuration at my desk

My 2nd neighbor suspected that I am a hacker. Lol. I am not = =. 

Blue sky. I am always amazed how perfect the blue is.

I may always seem like a simple minded fool, 

in fact behind it all there is complexity.

I may seem racist and laugh about the jokes it make,

in fact when the veil is off, I have a strong desire to see my country, my home, united as one.

I may seem like a kid,

and perhaps I wanted to remain as one,

Skinned knees hurts less then broken hearts.

But as I look back through those experience I've gained,

I am already nearing an adult stage.

It is not your physical appearance, that makes you an adult.

It's what you've been through and how you think that counts.

Guess I will be one soon, no matter how I hide it.

And I have no plans to hide it anyways. 

Time to take the truth to heart and live on. Live on for the dreams of tomorrow and pray that the road behind will always echo a song of the blessed. 

Work hard and live fully.

When in doubt

Just flick it.

I've been running and running. Away and further away. Although I've always said I've stopped running, but it never seems so, guess I've never really changed over this few years. It's been awhile since I have really faced off with reality. It's been awhile since I've had really touch the ground and feel the soil. Perhaps, just perhaps there is no such things as the right one, no such things of what is meant to be and whats not.

Not a day goes by without me thinking will it make a difference if I only did what I am suppose to do that evening. If I told you everything that was meant for your ears.

As days goes by without any progress in sight, I'm starting to believe less and less. Honesty is honestly the hardest thing for me right now, perhaps the principle i held onto all along is just a fabric of imagination cooked up by myself and philosophers. Let me dream a little more, let this infant in me live a while longer. Before it dies off, before I act like how I am suppose to be, before, I stop believing.


A little part of me died that day when I know I lost you. And I guess that has been me ever since for some time, pulling the other parts of me together, so it will not fall off.

I'm just saying.

It's a symphony

Lighten up they say.

Such ignorance, Such arrogance.

Still, no matter how foolish it sounds like, I would always hold true to the phrase of dancing in the rain.

I no longer know what to think. It's just so not me, but I am at lost when I am around you. Heck. And I though feelings subsides.

Still,

Just keep smiling, smiling smiling...

Looking back

It's been so long & so much.

and there is definitely so much more to live for.

Wonders how much longer will it take till I reach the end of this tunnel

So what

I'm still not a rock star.

I still have to admit. Sometimes it just sucks to be single. Just sometimes. After given much thought, in the end i realized it's just my fear of loneliness.

Just a random thought.

To everything

There is a 1st time.

Celebrated 11/11/11 and Early 12/11/11 with a bunch of friends. Joined in a drinking game which I eventually come to realize I am not built for it. Since I was the newbie and they already know my low tolerant for alcohol, I finished my 1st cup quite quickly.

Eventually, by the 2nd round, I gave in and my head got so heavy that I pulled out, On one condition. I have to bottoms up one cup filled partially by *name of alcohol I forgot*. Then, I literally K.O

At 1st I thought I just slept through the night cause I excused my self from playing the 2nd round of the drinking game. But then, from others I heard that I did something else. Like seriously, I didn't even know I joined in true or dare(I think they said i joined, which I didn't even know they played that game at all)

Remember the scene of Hangover? where the characters totally forgot what happened last night? Well it sort of happened to me.

Some say I puke at the balcony(the pail was JUST BESIDE ME) then wave my hands to the air saying I feel so light that I can fly. Some say I threatened to kill them and set others of fire. Some say I tried jumping into the drain. And well, some say I almost drunk dialed. And so on.

Frankly, I can only remember less then half the things I remembered. I only know I felt like crap till the early mornings. And even when I woke up the 1st round in the morning I still feel like crap. But yeah, 1st time for everything. Call me crazy, but somehow it's mysteriously exciting as well, waking up having almost no recollection of what happened last night.

But yeah, I would definitely try not to repeat it. Don't know what other crazy things I might do.

P/s: All above are things I heard from witnesses and I have almost no recollection of what I did that night. So yeah, others might be a bit high as well, so it might not be that fully accurate. Still, I will never see coca-cola the same way again.

Solitude

No idea why, every time coming to this season, I would want to go somewhere alone. Spend sometime in solitude, to straighten up myself. My life goals. To relax. To get my mind back on track.

Perhaps like an escape, to somewhere i can shut myself from the world. Momentarily. Don't tell me in stucking myself at my hostel room. Self lock in that small room is just plain depressing. No, I wanted somewhere where I can see the skies, and where the sky touches the seas. And where the voice of the beach.

Reading a book by the beach sounds like a perfect idea right now.

If I am super rich one day. I will definitely buy a small house by the beach.

Live Laugh Love

quoted from somewhere la. It's not my quote definitely. Yet from now on I will make it a point that I will live my life on how it's meant to be lived. Like everyday it's the last.

Fed up emo-ing or having emotional thoughts bout things that is not yet time to happen.It is bound to happen, no matter what. So I will shelve it, and stop thinking bout it.

Still,

What a machine! - Jeremy Clarkson

Sometimes

I wonder do you remember me? Or do you even know that I existed.

Still, lol.

Novemeber

The clock strikes twelve and here comes a month to remember. October was fairly a roller coaster ride, infact been one of the toughest month that I have to go through since my Uni life started. All the cramped up assignments course works, and pressure. It just does take a toll on you sometimes.

The one week break was a much needed one. Also, in one week, the high and low changes were fairly spectacular. Gotta admit thou, one of the best days of my life during this year is in one the days. :D 

A new month sets it, with greater expectations, larger dreams and also a vast new opportunities. It starte out with a rain when the clock strikes twelve, yet

 Sun and clear skies will always be there after the rain.

It did not rain

on the  3rd day. How could I forget? turns out my verdict was made long ago.

I was asking myself a question that I've had answered a while back. I knew the answer, just that I am not sure what am I gonna do about it. But, enough ranting of it. I will hold on to it, but I will leave it behind in this blog. :)

Anyways, back from a week of pampering in Ipoh. Gonna head off to UiTM tmr for a frisbee competition. It's just 5 v 5 so it's actually quite a small scale.But I have no idea why all the imba teams in Msia are going. I'm in the team, well since they said this is a good chance for newbie to get experience. For one, I guess we are gonna get trashed pretty hard i suppose. Heck, I didn't even train much this week, was busy eating/sleeping & plainly having fun .. lol.

Anyways, hope for the best la. That's all I can do for now.

Btw bumped on this song, I have to say emo alert. And yeah, BrunoMars version is actually better, but I lazy to go search and link it over. 

Calculations.

Screw that. It's either all or nothing.

That decision is a plunge, jump and if it is right I end up in the sea of joy. Do it wrong, I hit the rock and die miserably. Oh well, couldn't get any more complicated then that now can we?

Perhaps i should privatise this blog as well, seems like stuff im posting is getting quite personal.

Decision

must be made.

I don't want to spend 6 months wandering aimlessly achieving less then visible & satisfactory results just to realize it will not work out then spend the next 6 months licking wounds and waiting it to heal.

By this week.

P/s: This is a mental note to self.

The Black & The White

Note: No racism intended.

So I meddle abit with b&w photography. I always have this fond of b&w photos cause it leaves pocket of spaces of imagination. Also, it made it feels like it's something long and precious. I do relate age with value sometimes, as how it was quoted, Old is Gold. But then, it's very hard to represent my concept and perspective why I like b&w photography. 

A few of the shots i've taken during Inti Uni Day. 

JamesC.Photography.

Making memories, Lasting moments.

 Perhaps I need a better catch phrase. Or whatever you call it. 

P/s: It's just for fun, not that I am good enough to start a photography company or something. It is and always will be my hobby, not profession.

Ipoh Mali!!!

Finally.. the air, the water, the food. It is all Ipoh-ly unique. Nowhere does the air smell so free, the water so plainly yet sweet , coffee drug-ly addictive also the food.. It's like Christmas in your mouth when you eat it. ( I know I know .. ALL GRAMMAR ERRORS!!! :P) But yeah, it's been too long away from home.

Nways.. gonna spend sometime chilling in Ipoh. I really need some timeout from life itself. Close those doors and those windows. I want some 'ME' time. 

And I realized one thing. The fact that I could not handle emotion intensive situations is evident enough that I am not ready for a relationship. It just suffocates me. Perhaps it's again, right person wrong timing I suppose. But yeah, I am working on trying to not to be bothered by it. I am honestly putting effort into it.

On the edge

Life lately has been one of the extremes. Not sleeping at all, or sleeping for 12-9 hours at a time. Assignments is a real killer, overly complicated question just so we will have to work for our marks, without learning anything worthwhile. 

My walk with God is quite distorted as well. Sigh, better have  a better discipline in spending time with Him.

But just 1 more day left. 1 more day and it would be a 7 days of worthwhile rest. Test in less then 12 hours, blogging to destress.. lol. Hwaiting!

David Story - Second Great War

Check the lyrics too.

Somehow a song full of mysteries and questions. Yet also a song I can relate too. Been awhile I felt so powerless fighting against a situation. But still if it's not meant to be I have to fight against it till the ver end, when my mind will slowly but surely give in.

Life as we might not know it

You know, little things might be little now. But then, a little down the road, it turns out to be something big.

 look up the sky long enough, and you just might see the best sunset over again and again

For the moment, life is pretty awesome as it is. Still, have to shake off this tingling feeling that I have from time to time. Well, life is awesome, but then it's full of stress too. Stress of assignments. Like seriously, 4 Individual assignments in 2 weeks and 1 test. Not much, but definitely not making life any easier. 2 down, 2 more to go. Hwaiting!

As how the movie depicts it, I guess right now is my routine stage and making memories.

 Life is not a race, you are not getting a trophy if you finish 1st.

Miss some of You people so much. People that gave me courage and mental support. People that would listen to me. Although we are still keeping contact via technology, I still miss those moments together.

Expression

Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

- David Borenstein

And I find that I express myself best by pictures and words. In fact, my facial expression is the most inaccurate one. weirdly.

Coming to nilai, I realized a few things. For one, is that I really do love photography. It's hard to explain, but although I am not super good at it like those other Pros out there, I am always driven to take better pictures. Not so I can brag about it, but more like it's a personal trophy and also being able to capture what I am picturing in my mind. 

I know I am making thing sound deep, or I am doing so cause it would make it sound cool. But it's not. There are emotions to my work. Most of my favorite photographs have a story, or emotion behind it. It's like piecing a puzzle of seeing the world through my eyes. Sometimes I am frustrated, cause I could not capture the image I picture up in my mind. But then, that always drives me to try harder & harder. Weirdly though, some of my shots are also purely accidental. I was lucky perhaps. 

Also, I know what I want in someone that I am gonna spend my life with. I need a supporter, not someone that would constantly question me or challenge me. Also, I can't take bossy people well. So yeah, I am starting to understand myself better then ever.

And I cannot really get over you. No matter how busy I am with my days, or how happening life is, there will be moments in life where I would hav you in my mind. You, who can make me run for miles with a smile and still willing to run more. Yes, you, who almost everyone would meet someday. You, where almost everyone on earth would be addicted to. You, falling in love. Falling in love is like a drug, you can say that you are cure from addiction, but you are never really are.

And I guess I am falling. But I just don't know how to approach this situation.

P/s: Pardon the emo-ish post. Since I don't get some heart to heart talk recently I just need a place to spill out all these emotions.

Fix You

Song originally sang by Coldplay but this is Boyce Avenue's cover. Which in my opinion is just as awesome as the original one or maybe slightly better at some parts.

Send me all your angels tonight, I'm barely hanging on.

Last but not least

This is the very last thing I should do right now. But then, I feel the urge to write something down here.

I'm back from Kedah. I did not win any medals, infact we've got trashed pretty hard. Still, we did had fun :) All those moments & memories are priceless. The medals is just a bonus. I will remember my experience here & I will further push myself to achieve higher then what I've reached now. 

"Remember those small little victories" as my TeamCaptain said. A cool guy that always put up a wide smile no matter how hard the situation is. And is always honest to the Team yet still can make the hard truth acceptable. That is what a leader should be.

So much I've learned and realized so much more I need to improve myself. Nothing short then an eye opener :)

P/s: Wanted to include in a photo, but it's too late & I really need some rest.

And

Here it comes.

Game face on. I'm now in the 11th hour before competition starts. Cross my fingers say my prayers & hope all goes well.

It sucks

              When you give all you can give, and it is still not enough.

It sucks, when you are doing the best you can, so you will not be a burden to anyone, it backFires.

It sucks, when I ran as fast as I could, it just won't cut it. 

It sucks, when I jump and reach as high as I can possibly reach, the disc just fly past my fingertips.

And I always ask, why?

Why I could not jump higher, or run faster. Or mayb, why do I panic. 

And everytime, every single time, I can give a reason for it. But perhaps, it's time to put those reason, or excuses behind. It's time to accept one cold harsh fact. I am not good enough.

To be honest, I was at my breaking point at the field today... I am so disappointed with my own performance. It's like I am a handicapped person on the field. I have a pair of legs. a pair of arms but why I can't do what others did so well?

But, no. I had given up on many things in life. I might had at a point in life given up one of my life goals. But No. I will not give up on myself. 

They breathe the same air as I do, eat the same food as I do. There is no reason that I can't perform as well or at least close to the others. Time, I need time to be better. Time, it is always time. I will be better in time, I will return better and stronger. I will be back, faster then before. I might suck at this Open, But I'll be back.. And I will be better. 

Apologize to the readers(if any) for the emo-ish and very self beating post. I just had quite a hard time. Sigh, I need a morale boost, or maybe even some motivation.

Seven Days

You can always predict what might happen, or even deduce what would happen.. but chances are your expectations might not coincide with reality. 

So, conclusion? Carpe Diem.

Competition is 7 days away, and without a doubt this week would be on High gear for everyone. If my life is a movie this week would be flashes of trainings and classes with a building up soundtrack as the back drop. Perhaps the song of Down River by The temper trap might be an interesting add. 

Anyways spend less then 24 hours in Ipoh just for the sake of stpm certs and some documents for ptptn. Mom seem particularly unhappy about it ..lol. But oh wells, It's not like I'm not coming back at all. To be honest, I wish time would allow me to stay longer as well. But I cannot stop the momentum now, taking a few days off is very risky at this stage.. best is to keep everything on high gear till the end of the competition.

Most of all, hope everyone will have a good time :)

I wonder

sometimes, am I good enough?

Time to put on my Game face. Gonna tough it out give my best.

P/s: Yes, I'm doubting

And i do like you. And I do feel that ur the right one. To hell with 'let's see how things goes', it's horse crap & words arranged together so that I can calm myself. And maybe it's true. I'm just afraid of having to go out of the comfort zone and risk getting rejected again. Maybe it's true, I just have not fully recovered yet. But I do hope i am liking you for the right reasons.

Unending Love

by Hillsongs

Got to know this song from CF Facebook page. Pretty much a prayer I would wanna pray to Him right now. 

Letting go of my pride
I lay down my desires
Just to worship in Spirit and truth
More than all of my dreams
More than fame I will seek You Lord

P/s: Never loose sight of the finishing line.

Sixpence none the richer

 Kiss Me Lyrics

Was watching a fan video(sunny's) that day and i heard this song. Find it quite soothing and nice :)

Perhaps

The day hasn't show all it's cards.

I know most of the time I am not speaking sense. Anyhow, I just wish today would last longer. And hopefully, best is now and better is to come :)

Also did some photoshooting for ICF 1st meeting of the semester! Although alot of spoilt shots *thanks to rusty camera skills* I did manage to capture some nice ones :D

Seed | Regeneration

P/s: Wanted to upload more pics, but slow internet. Bah.

If you were an ice cream flavor

You would be my favorite one :)

Maybe I am judging things too soon.. Or perhaps it is just me wanting to move on from my current situation.

I am conflicted, yet again. At one end, I wanted to get to know you more and perhaps in the near future be something more then friends. On the other end, the fear of rejection grips me. And I know clearly I need to be emotionally stable for at least this coming few months in this place where I am alone.

But yeah, every time I had manage to convince myself that right now I am best being single for now, the Universe just seems to like to screw around with me and give me hope that perhaps there is chances. Anyhow I am gonna just live life as it goes. I will walk my pace and I won't rush things.. I know clearly If I am serious about this I can be as persistent as I ever could be, and waiting is something I am willing to do.

Of course, my goal is still clear. Get good grades, build a good career, and get a stable income. And right now I am just indulging in abit of off track desires :D

Also, today frisbee training was quite intense. Been awhile I felt this tired. However I foresee more similar training like this. Drills drills and more drills. I don't want to be a burden to my team! And I definitely don't want them to not be able to achieve their goals cause 1 person in the team didn't give his 100%.  So far I've made little improvements, but I know it doesn't come close to being enough at all. I am gonna try harder, and harder. And I will expect results.

Success is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. Shared by PasterChris.

On another note, find it weird that my learning skills teacher today talks about life philosophy instead of teaching 'learning skills' = =. Also she quoted in class, whatever which is yours, will be yours in the end. Weird coincidence given that the same quote was shared by a friend way back in Ipoh.

On that bombshell, It's time to end this long post. I seriously need some good rest.

P/s: Oh and no pics. Didn't take much recently .. hehe

1st Mile

So, officially started my 2nd semester. 1st week was pretty tough, specially the mornings. One of my lecturers actually reminds me of my form 6 days. But the mornings are tough, it is the night that made the days better. 

Joining ultimate frisbee does release some pent up stress. U knw, stress away from home, loneliness, studies, and so on. Getting addicted to running my hearts out at the field.. really a good way to de-stress. *Runs and Screams*

Kays, enough craps. Coming 3 weeks is gonna be crucial. I've joined AIMST open, and I will be in the 2nd team. Gonna push my self further and improve myself more for the game. Been accident prone as well, fell twice in a week and open up bck my old wound. Damn pain.

But then. No pain, No gain. Fall down seven times, get up eight. Keep running! Hwaiting!

Oh and yeah, enjoying air-cond and amazingly fast internet speed at the multipurpose hall. Ahh paradise! :D

Calm

before the storm.

When the world you're in is still again
And it all fades out
You've reached the end, begin again now

As this long break draws to a close, I foresee a busy semester ahead. One with hectic classes(quite), tough subjects as well as personal goals that I am never before more eager to achieve now. 

I've looked back, and things are so different now than bck then. To everything there is a season in life, there is a season of mourning, a season of trials, a season of rest, a season of labor as well a season of reaping. Still waters, heavy hearts. The still waters only represents the inevitable storm ahead. I will survive this storm, and enjoy life at the same time.

Time heals :)

Make or break

It's not New Year resolutions, nor big promises that make or break life, it's the innumerable small actions you take every hour that compound into a life well lived

- Facebook

P/s: I will be back.

Single

but I have no idea am I available or not.

Over and over again I have told myself, being single is very damn fun. There is no strings attached, lesser commitments, less responsibility, and definitely less issues to think about. But there comes a point in life that you will feel something is missing, even after all those outings, all those crazy nights.

I've been having that feeling for quiet sometime already. And frankly sometimes it is disturbing. I've been praying for the right one, she doesn't needs to be perfect, but of course she does needs to meet afew ticks on my list. But yeah, even if I meet the right one, will she be single? Will she even be interested to know me? I might be confident on most things, or at least looked confident. But on the most side, I'm jst putting up a strong front. Underneath that mask, there is always doubt and self questionings. 

Heck, being able to think about this is already a luxury. Usually when problems comes in life, relationship is always at the far end for me. Probably now is just the start of a new sem and life had jst slowed down a little bit for me to indulge in this matter.

Heck, probably it is just peer pressure cause ppl around me seem to be like moving on with life while I am still stagnant and still. 

Sigh, whichever it is. Or mayb it is just some slow songs at this hour alone made me feel a little bit emo. Oh wells. Life goes on and time still flies.

Wonder how my life would turn out in the coming few months. I will believe it is awesome.

And I am trying, all the best I can to be a better person. I will always take this phrase to heart, It's not all about finding the right person, It's also about being the right person. I am gonna keep believing, even though I suck at it, I am gonna have faith, that this silent prayer would be answered. Also I will believe

Love never fails. I hope.

Let what happens in the internet stays in the internet. For those who came across this, this is just Me speaking my mind. Which I tend to do alot on the internet realm.

Heart pounding

Deep slow breathes. Steady hands. Firm grip on the Disc. Get my head in the game.

Quoted frm 'Six billion freaks in this world Apr 27, 2010'

Back to Ipoh, to my warm family, to my comfy bed. Now gonna continue what I have been doing. Endurance training and Jogging. The trick is to keep my mind fresh and steady even though my heart is pounding at thousands of beats per min.

Competition is one month away, though I'm not sure whether am I qualified into the junior team or if there is a junior team, I am gonna give my best. At least I can see how much I can achieve in one month. No slowing down, no skipping days, no procrastination.

I'm just dreaming out loud.

The photos is taken from one of my previous blogpost. I edited it a lil more. Kinda really like this photo.

It's been awhile since I literally fallen down, and it's been awhile i've taken 'when you fall down, get back up and walk again' literally. My knee does hurt like crap thou D:

Life as we know it

Just a usual night. Frisbee, then vcammed a guy shaving his beard, drank a weirdly addictive tea at an arabian shop house, stayed up almost all night chatting there, went to friends place to watch movies and here I am.

Maybe I forgot to mention bout it, but life is Inti is crazy sometimes & occasionally epic. Raya week break, can't wait to go back home.

Contingency

I ponder deeply sometimes, what If I my contingency plan was not valid and I am forced to follow my original plan. Of course, because of the luxury of being able to choose, I did not pursue my vry 1st plan with guns ablazing. For one, If I wasn't given a choice, I would only start my studies in a months time, or now if I am extremely lucky. Or, I might be going to Kampar take the cheapest course available get a degree, come out and start building my career. But no, I was given a choice to choose beyond all this. And here I am, in Inti Nilai, 1 semester later and semester 2 is about to start tomorrow.

But now, having to fall back on my contingency plan, I already have too much to loose. If should I fail, money would be wasted, time and my future would be bleak as ever. If should I end up failing, in my household there is only me to take care of my parents. So the pressure is pretty intense when I think about it, but usually I steer clear of this thought.

Tomorrow would be the day I enroll. And right now I'm just chilling in my room in Inti.( actually I am bored to death hence explains blogging.lol ). Can't wait to go flick(frisbee) actually = ="

Stop for a minute

and smile :)

Good bye for now. It has been good and well, but this 3 weeks made me realize that there is more important things in life to pay attention to. Good bye for the moment, and I will promise I will be back. And when I am back, I will never be the same. I will be better. More than that, I will be ready.

Never stop believing

Oh! and finally updated the song list in my blog. Enjoy :D

Hardwork

It pays off. 

Those night staying awake to finish off the assignments, those hours spending in the classroom being a good boy by paying attention(i tried), the non-stop study marathon 2 days before exam and before exam. It was worth it, every single second of the torment is worth it. And I've even got a bonus, I got more then I expected. *hands waves on air*

Suffice to say, my very 1st time getting an A- in like 3years. Daebak!!

Gonna do better next semester, Hwaiting!!

Seven days ago

by Mocca.

Well another song bumped on when I was watching Invincible Youth. Aside from that.. few more days to the release of my result. I am hoping for the best, that is to pass my subjects.

I am quite confident for the business class.. but for the HCI(human computer interaction) I have no idea what to expect. Sure my course work marks did pull some weight but I did vry badly for my 10% test. And I still need quite a few marks to hit the 50% mark. I am worried. 

In the mean time, since I am quite free in Ipoh.. I decided to take a stroll at a small park just outside my house. Ofc, I carried along my camera.  Here's afew shots.

Earth laughs in flowers.  

Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Hamatreya"

In need of a better perspective.

Those aren't

scars. They are medals for trying.

Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

But, not every case can be applied to this. Sometimes, life just have a different calling for you to live. 

Yet I am sure in this. I will put my heart into it, my time and my sweat. My effort will echo it into the winds and hope that one day it would land on fertile soil. For they say, you reap what you sow. To this I will always hold dear to. To this, I will never forsake.

Empty streets may have remnant cries of yesterday's failures.

Mourn that of which is dead and live for the living. Some dreams are just meant for the moment in time, and then dead for the time to come. Live for the dreams that is alive, for the dreams that may not come true, but bring you to where you should be. 

Life, is full of surprises. Take it and go.

Behold!

The baby who stares at camera

Parent's cell group member thought there was cell group last night. But turns out they forgot it was cancelled. They also brought along their 5months(i think) old baby. It was sleeping at 1st .. then she(i think also - -) woke up.. so having a camera by my side I did the next best thing: Introducing the baby to the camera. Good thing was, at 5months old, their sight is nt vry developed so to get her attention I have to make some voice...some very...well.. Let's call it voice and leave it at there.

Actually.. I think I've terrified her instead D:

and after awhile..

 

RAWR!! I WANT SLEEP. EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONE!! RAWR!!!

haha .. actually the baby just gently yawned.

Anyways. That's random. Also results is gonna be released soon .. Oh it better be good.

The last time

Bumped on this song while I was re-watching invincible youth(Yes, i am that free). Find it pretty awesome. The lyrics itself is gold.

Aside from that, things seems to be going according to plan to my delight. But don't think my feet could agree with me. Also surprised myself today .. doing more then my normal quota of swimming n jogging. Apparently the stamina training is proven effective.. well hopefully.

I hate going into games(whatever games) and then start gasping for air like an old man in 5 mins.

Running man

on fire!!! 

Like, literally.

Who else better to know when is the right time then myself? What I know is, right now it's the wrong time. I am busy trying to fix a life that I almost screwed up. Screaming Geronimo and plunging myself would not help anything.

And the rain could never come at a better time :)

New week starts, new quota to be made. Whoo-ah!!! I will return stronger and better.